8587 You are italian if: - not sure if new

All of the above made me smile, the last one is the absolute truth!

24. You are petrified of any kind of draft (Even if it is 30 degrees C outside) as drafts are the chief cause of a multitude of life-threatening medical conditions.
25. You consider any kind of swimming within 3 hours of eating to be, again, life-threatening.
26. Swimming in the sea outside of the strictly-defined 'summer' is, you guessed it, life-threatening. (Regardless of the length of time since your last meal).
:bigergrin:

27. You put a scarf round your neck at the first sign of a sore throat.
28. You take a fully stocked medicine chest with you whenever you go on holiday.
29. You take your doctor`s mobile number with you on holiday.

30 Overtake someone at 100 kph only to turn right, 50 metres down the road.
31 Put your fog lights on in the summer at dusk.
32 Always have an extra 2 pairs of shoes in the car, just in case your pair gets dusty.

33 Always make sure that when you buy copy designer wear from china its mispelte (grin)

34.wear sunglasses whatever the weather
35.never go out in the evening except in convoy with as many others as possible and after making as many phone-calls to each as possible
36.never give way when driving towards someone else until the very last moment
37.are modest about your own language ability and fawning about others ability

[quote=anna71;80542]1. You're 5'4", can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day, but you still cry when your mother yells at you.

2. Your father owns 5 houses, has $300,000 in the bank, but still drives a '76 Monte Carlo.

3. You share a bathroom with your 5 brothers, have no money, but drive a $45,000 Camaro or Firebird.

4. Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and travel agent are all blood relatives.

5. You consider dunking a cannoli in an espresso a nutritious breakfast.

6. Your 2 best friends are your cousin and your brother-in-law's brother-in-law.

7. You are a card-carrying V.I.P at more than 3 strip clubs.

8. Despite the hair on your back, you still try to impress the ladies by wearing your "Just do me" tank top to the beach.

9. At least 5 of your cousins live on your street.

10. All 5 of those cousins are named after your grandfather.

11. A high school diploma and 1 year of Nassau Community College has earned you the title of "professore" among your aunts.

12. You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners.

13. If someone in your family grows beyond 5'6", it is presumed his mother had an affair.

14. There were more than 28 people in your bridal party.

15. You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.

16. At some point in your life, you were a D.J.

17. 30 years after immigrating, your parents still say "Pronto" when answering the phone.

18. You have ever been in a fight defending Sly Stallone's thespian greatness.

19. Somewhere on your parents' property, there is a bathtub Madonna.

20. You build your house with 3 materials.... brick, marble, and wrought iron.

21. You have at least one sister that went to Beauty School.

22. Clothes from the Chess King will actually fit you.

23. It is impossible for you to talk with your hands in your pockets.
:bigergrin:[/quote]

Being myself the direct target of these assertions I can say that a part of them are true, a part are not.

I am Italian but:
1) I have no cousins in my street
2) I don't know plumbers, electricians or what ever
3) My best friends are not relatives
4) I don't enter into a church since my wedding
5) I am not a fervent admirer of the Catholic Church
I think you assertions are better suited to those Italians who live in the south. You should be more region-selective…

Anyway, I can assure you that, even if the assertion # 23 is generally true, I can easily speak with my hands in the pockets…. ;-P

38. Your suitcase, that you take on holiday, doesn't contain clothes, but pasta and olive oil (my Aunt did this on her first trip to the UK!)

39. Take 1.5hrs (yes, 1.5 hrs, thats one and a half, one whole hour plus half of another) to complete the paperwork required for Trasferimento di Proprieta.

That's 1.5 hrs of my life I can't get back. All I wanted to do was put the bloody scooter on the trailer and go home. "What the fcuk are you doing for gods sake" (obviously translated....) I almost lost the will to live. how many photo copies of my residency/codice fiscale/driving liscence/birth certificate/dental records/dogs passport do you bloody need for gods sake???

"Why do we need to drive across town to your office to get some forms, why didn't you bring them with you? Are you retarded?"

For future ref, what's the penalty for murder in Italy? It may be worth taking the hit.

I continue to be of the opinion that the only thing "better" about Italy is the weather, and that's crap at the moment.

I'll leave you now, I need to get on with my bad week.

Rant over.

Al.

[quote=Alan_T;80733]39. Take 1.5hrs (yes, 1.5 hrs, thats one and a half, one whole hour plus half of another) to complete the paperwork required for Trasferimento di Proprieta.

That's 1.5 hrs of my life I can't get back. All I wanted to do was put the bloody scooter on the trailer and go home. "What the fcuk are you doing for gods sake" (obviously translated....) I almost lost the will to live. how many photo copies of my residency/codice fiscale/driving liscence/birth certificate/dental records/dogs passport do you bloody need for gods sake???

"Why do we need to drive across town to your office to get some forms, why didn't you bring them with you? Are you retarded?"

For future ref, what's the penalty for murder in Italy? It may be worth taking the hit.

I continue to be of the opinion that the only thing "better" about Italy is the weather, and that's crap at the moment.

I'll leave you now, I need to get on with my bad week.

Rant over.

Al.[/quote]

I think you didn't choose the right place where to live. Did your doctor recommend Italy for your health ? Try Maldives, Mauritius or many other places where the weather is much better. In Europe you can try Spain or Portugal, but I don’t know how is bureaucracy there……anyway I think the best place for you is to go back where you came from, just stick some posters of Maldives on the walls of your house to feel the exotic weather and benefit, at the same time, from your totally bureaucracy -free country.

Willful murder in Italy is usually punished with life imprisonment.

If you really think that weather is the only positive thing, it’ll be my pleasure to offer you the return ticket to the paradise you come from.

:madd:

Did not mean to upset anyone, the intention was to amuse as I thoughtthat some points were quite true, not my copyright anyway, basically I just copied and pasted. Another funny one is
[URL]http://www.lifeinitaly.com/flash/europe_italy.swf[/URL]

[quote=Alan_T;80733]39. Take 1.5hrs (yes, 1.5 hrs, thats one and a half, one whole hour plus half of another) to complete the paperwork required for Trasferimento di Proprieta.

That's 1.5 hrs of my life I can't get back. All I wanted to do was put the bloody scooter on the trailer and go home. "What the fcuk are you doing for gods sake" (obviously translated....) I almost lost the will to live. how many photo copies of my residency/codice fiscale/driving liscence/birth certificate/dental records/dogs passport do you bloody need for gods sake???

"Why do we need to drive across town to your office to get some forms, why didn't you bring them with you? Are you retarded?"

For future ref, what's the penalty for murder in Italy? It may be worth taking the hit.

I continue to be of the opinion that the only thing "better" about Italy is the weather, and that's crap at the moment.

I'll leave you now, I need to get on with my bad week.

Rant over.

Al.[/quote]

Hi Alan
I think we have all been there and no doubt will be there again .....and its OK to rant ,,,,,scream from you cave mate :Dancing_angry::Dancing_angry::Dancing_angry::Dancing_angry:

you are italian if ... you take offence at criticism by foreigners of the belle paese ... and you don't think that "having a rant" justifies it (even though ranting is one of Italy's own national sports, judging by the conversations I overhear in the local bars & piazze!)

you are allowed to criticise Italy if ... you live & work in Italy full time, pay your taxes there, spend your wages there, and have to deal with the bureaucracy etc. while also juggling family/career etc. ... though expressing a wholly negative view doesn't achieve much.

So, while I agree with Sergio that Alan T's post was pretty disparaging towards a place most of us love [I]despite[/I] its downsides, I think it's his prerogative to say what he thinks, warts & all (and in fairness it was flagged as a 'rant').

I also think it would be instructive for Alan T to post (in a more balanced manner, once he's calmed down!) something on the background to his relocation to Italy and the general pro's & con's of his life there as he sees them? Always good to get a different perspective, no matter how bleak, as long as it's done without the intention to piss anyone off.

I think that someone maybe trying to hi jack the thread, what started as a bit of fun may well end up as an argument.
I thought that this was a place that like minded people could come and put there views,thoughts and sometimes rants.
I would say (IMHO) that the bulk of these threads start as one thing and generally end up somewhere else.
will it get to the stage that someone asks for advice on heating or which geometra is OK, and another person can take offence because there advice was not used or accepted.
I find it strange the whole world seems to turning overly PC, if we looked hard enough at any thread someone will find offence, even Pigros quote is offencive to woman ( no man is an island.....except the Isle of man ) there is no female represention at all. (GRIN)
In our little hamlet, should anything get stolen, there is always a finger pointed at the Albanions.......talk about people in glass houses.
well that about it I guess .....comments welcome

[B]40 need to get a sense of humour[/B]

[quote=pigro;80750]you are italian if ... you take offence at criticism by foreigners of the belle paese ... and you don't think that "having a rant" justifies it (even though ranting is one of Italy's own national sports, judging by the conversations I overhear in the local bars & piazze!)

you are allowed to criticise Italy if ... you live & work in Italy full time, pay your taxes there, spend your wages there, and have to deal with the bureaucracy etc. while also juggling family/career etc. ... though expressing a wholly negative view doesn't achieve much.

So, while I agree with Sergio that Alan T's post was pretty disparaging towards a place most of us love [I]despite[/I] its downsides, I think it's his prerogative to say what he thinks, warts & all (and in fairness it was flagged as a 'rant').

I also think it would be instructive for Alan T to post (in a more balanced manner, once he's calmed down!) something on the background to his relocation to Italy and the general pro's & con's of his life there as he sees them? Always good to get a different perspective, no matter how bleak, as long as it's done without the intention to piss anyone off.[/quote]

I agree. We all know that Italy isn’t the perfect place. Many of you, that spend quite a lot time here, know from the Italians themselves that we do not like lots of things, especially bureaucracy (you should have tried to live here 20 years ago to “taste” the real bureaucracy….there is no comparison between now and then). I’m the first to say it’s a perfectible country and Italians (me included) are perfectible people, but to generalize is the biggest mistake you could do. As I’ve already written in several posts, first of all, a stranger must learn to make difference between north and south, then she/he has to be honest enough not to think her/his country of origin is the example to use to fix any problems in Italy or where ever else.
Because I’ was lucky enough to visit many countries for period of times long enough to understand that lady “perfection” has not found its own place yet.

Then, if Alan T has problems to fill in his “damned” forms, I’ll be glad to land him a hand….but only after he has calmed down.

:nah:

[quote=pigro;80750]So, while I agree with Sergio that Alan T's post was pretty disparaging towards a place most of us love [I]despite[/I] its downsides, I think it's his prerogative to say what he thinks, warts & all (and in fairness it was flagged as a 'rant').[/quote]

So, let me better explain my feelings....I’m not angry or offended, I’m just annoyed by the way Alan T expressed his thoughts. This is not the first time I’ve read posts on this forum highly critical at Italy and Italians in general, but this was the first time I reacted negatively, because I think Alan T exaggerated …that’s it…..honestly, I’m not so proud of my nationality as someone could think….and this feeling is even stronger in the morning when I usually read the newspaper….

You're Italian if you:

Are proud of living in a beautiful country that has contributed much to the finest things in life e.g: Art, architecture, music, wine, food, cultural history ('what have the Romans ever done for us?'), sports cars, mandolins, clothes, sunglasses, (ok the last four aren't always in everyone's list!), etc.,etc., populated by friendly, kind, people!
(For Sergio's benefit!)

Also: If you feel that a large colour tv high up on the wall (and always on) is absolutely necessary in a fine restaurant!

Marco Mando
PS. I think the original list is clearly aimed at American -Italians who are possibly a slightly different socio-economic group to the natives!

Sorry to post yet again, but, I have re read AlanTs post for the tenth time, his only mention of italy was about the weather and a valid legal question.
The rant was aimed at the slow process of paperwork, which is the same in any country.
There were no racial slurs, no snide nicknames, no digs re race, colour and or creed........his only offence that (IMHO) I can see was a direct attack on the weather.....OH dear me, they have besmerched my mother or fatherland, lets burn the british flag...........or we could all just see it for what it was .......a rant......

TTFN

Oo deary me! There seems to be a lot of very unhappy & superior people out there. Wonder if there is a BritMagForum with a similar minded load of Italians having a rant? Wonder how we would all agree with their take on us & would they be half as insulting to us as you/we/I can be to them? No. In fact they respect & admire us. God knows why. Sure, we're here for the climate; but is that all? Not for me. In fact, not by a long shot. But then I'm biased. Someone I knew, loved & respected was Italian & the world is a colder place without her.
Pilch

[quote=marco mando;80762]You're Italian if you:

Are proud of living in a beautiful country that has contributed much to the finest things in life e.g: Art, architecture, music, wine, food, cultural history ('what have the Romans ever done for us?'), sports cars, mandolins, clothes, sunglasses, (ok the last four aren't always in everyone's list!), etc.,etc., populated by friendly, kind, people!
(For Sergio's benefit!)
[/quote]

:laughs::laughs::eerr:

Simpaticone !

....oooh we are a serious bunch aren't we!!!

Where's Herealready when you need her, she'd see the funny side!!
Help me, the adults are cross with me!

Al.

[quote=deborahandricky;80767]Sorry to post yet again, but, I have re read AlanTs post for the tenth time, his only mention of italy was about the weather and a valid legal question.
The rant was aimed at the slow process of paperwork, which is the same in any country.
There were no racial slurs, no snide nicknames, no digs re race, colour and or creed........his only offence that (IMHO) I can see was a direct attack on the weather.....OH dear me, they have besmerched my mother or fatherland, lets burn the british flag...........or we could all just see it for what it was .......a rant......

TTFN[/quote]

Dear Deborah, it seems you didn't follow enough Alan T’s "career" on this forum, I suggest you to take a look at his posts...some of them are really “interesting“, like the one he's posted above.

I haven't read the entire thread, but I'll thrown in the Yankee perspective for what it's worth. It seems to me that the original list in question is more representative of Italian-Americans (of which I am one) than Italians. Particularly those Italian-Americans living in the New York/New Jersery area a generation ago (i.e. Tony Soprano). In any case, to paraphrase Oscar Wilde (he was speaking of the Irish-Americans, of course): Italian-Americans have about as much in common with Italians as African-Americans have in common with [tribal] Africans. And it's true. As much as we would like to maintain a connection to "the old country," the daily influence of American culture has almost completely obscured any lingering similarities.

Alan I think you just got your bare legs slapped!
go stand in the naughty corner, with ya hat on and face the wall!
I think everyone without a sense of humour should withdrawn from the forum immediately, (there goes all the Italian males then)
see you in the corner!
And whats this about the weather its sunny at my house, Italian winter is officially over.

[quote=herealready;80789].....I think everyone without a sense of humour should withdrawn from the forum immediately, (there goes all the Italian males then)....[/quote]

...mmmmhh ....should I interpret this as an invitation to quit ? :-(

I don't think I haven't sense of humor, but if you say so....

I rest my case!

Sergio
See it for what it was "scherzo" and try laughing it does ya good!
I would nt live here if I did nt like Italians.
you should here what I say about brits.

[quote=herealready;80797]......you should here what I say about brits.[/quote]

Thank you, I'm not looking for revenge.

Anyway, if you take a look at my old posts you can find some critics at my fellow countryman ….I’m not so touchy…. Believe me.

Anything I wrote under this topic has not be written with anger, rather I was annoyed by the same boring stereotypes, and I’m not talking about this topic, on the contrary, I find it really funny. I’m talking about some comments that could be Ok if posted once or twice, but when they are repeated continuously and from the same source, they begin to build up a sense of boredom.

Anyway, I’ve said what I had to say, I won’t go on this stupid polemic anymore because I’m sure that what had to be understood have been understood.

I want to close this thing just saying to all of you to feel absolutely free to criticize the Italians.

:smile:

[quote=RiccardoUSA;80779]I haven't read the entire thread, but I'll thrown in the Yankee perspective for what it's worth. It seems to me that the original list in question is more representative of Italian-Americans (of which I am one) than Italians. Particularly those Italian-Americans living in the New York/New Jersery area a generation ago (i.e. Tony Soprano). In any case, to paraphrase Oscar Wilde (he was speaking of the Irish-Americans, of course): Italian-Americans have about as much in common with Italians as African-Americans have in common with [tribal] Africans. And it's true. As much as we would like to maintain a connection to "the old country," the daily influence of American culture has almost completely obsured any lingering similarities.[/quote]

Riccardo,
I'm surprised by your comment about how little Italian-Americans have in common with Italy. I personally know a number of families who are either friends or relatives all who live in different parts of America who have very close links with Italy and have retained may parts of Italian culture even though they have embraced the American culture and some of them married to Americans although I do accept that this is a tiny proportion of Italian-Americans and bow to your local knowledge.

I believe you can have and embrace two cultures in the same way as almost all the members of this forum who have or would like to have a property in Italy or enjoy travelling to Italy and have embraced many parts of Italian culture but are still proud of their British one. It is exactly the same in the UK. I was born here and my parents are immigrants from Puglia and most Italians (and I do mean the vast majority in second third and fourth generations) in the UK have most things in common with Italians living in Italy but also have adopted parts of British culture to various degrees (apologies to the Scots/Irish/Welsh/English if they prefer me to say English rather than British). I would agree that maybe in a hundred years time the culture of many immigrants will have been diluted.

In my own family,
# We eat as much British food as we do Italian food.
# We have as many British friends as Italian ones.
# We speak as much English as we do Italian at home.
# We complain as much about bad Italian habits as British ones.
# We complain and rant as much about Italian beaurocracy, the law, lawyers, builders, plumbers, tax dodges, filling forms, how long it takes to get some things done as we do in England.
# We take the piss as much about Italians who don't have a sense of humour just because they don't agree with what other people think is funny as we do about British people.
# We complain as much about stereotype Italian males as we do about British males.
# When we are in England we can't wait to visit Italy but equally when we are in Italy we miss England and look forward to coming back.

I've travelled and lived in many parts of Italy and unfortunately, I don't recognise many of the funny comments made that I couldn't say the same about England or France or Spain or Portugal. It isn't because I don't have a sense of humour, I just don't recognise them as being just Italian. To take Anne's first list I agree with two points: children named after grandparents (I'm one of them) and people who can't talk with their hands in their pockets (I'm one of those as well). Anne's second 'taking the piss' link has a few more relevant and funny habits about Italians that are true and made me snigger.

P.S.
Personally, as an Italian male, I don't think I'm quite ready to leave the Forum but I am happy to ask all the other Italian males (and Italian females if required) in the forum to stand with me in the corner wearing our hats with herealready and Alan.

Yes, I know it's just a laugh and nothing personal so just to prove that I've got a sense of humour.... somewhere...... on behalf of all Italian males and females...........:laughs::laughs::laughs::laughs::

Sorry everyone, I've just seen how long winded my previous post is:SLEEP:is.:SLEEP:

Is there anyone that can tell me where that damned corner is !? I must go to slap Alan T's bare legs !

....Then I'll stay there for solidarity with the bad guys and I’ll teach Biagio to speak with his hands in his pockets.

:laughs:

Thanks Sergio
Then I'll be able to multitask by having a fumble in my pockets and talk at the same time.

My wife will be impressed!! I'll be the first man in the world to be able to multitask.

[quote=Biagio;80815]Thanks Sergio
Then I'll be able to multitask by having a fumble in my pockets and talk at the same time.

My wife will be impressed!! I'll be the first man in the world to be able to multitask.[/quote]

:laughs::laughs:

[quote=Alan_T;80733]39.
"What the fcuk are you doing for gods sake"

Al.[/quote]

Sorry, just wanted to quote this because I know I'd never be allowed to say it myself!:laughs::laughs:

[quote=deborahandricky;80751]I think that someone maybe trying to hi jack the thread, what started as a bit of fun may well end up as an argument. I thought that this was a place that like minded people could come and put there views,thoughts and sometimes rants. .....comments welcome [B]40 need to get a sense of humour[/B][/quote]

Well said D & R.......I know you'll like this one. Its about a couple of years old, me thinks.

One of the British newspapers was asking readers "What it means to be British?"

This is one from a chap in Switzerland:

[I]"Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign".[/I]

#1

Anybody considered that senses of humour differ from culture to culture?
Or is it a case of johnny foreigner having to understand the british, in his own country, rather than the brits adapting to life and senses of humour eleswhere?

O e un caso di "essar boni de far 'na roba sola come el culo", ? (vecchio proverbio veneziano)

I'm off to the corner before I get sent there!:bigergrin:

hey its getting busy int naughty corner so bring a bottle and we can have a party!

[quote=herealready;81035]hey its getting busy int naughty corner so bring a bottle and we can have a party![/quote]

Hei !!! what is that !!?? The corner is only for Alan T and Italian males without sense of humor. Genuine Anglo-Saxons are not allowed there ! Is it clear !?

:bigergrin: