12142 The Rompi Scatole!

Someone who speaks from the heart, and isn't trying to rip us off or score points, how very refreshing.

I applaud you.

Please people, there is more than one who has not contributed to the fund.
This may be an unpopular thing to say BUT...SD has contributed posts, I daresay that she has donated to her preferred charity ( but a tenner to this one pleeese)(or even a token £2?) Come on Sally, Ghianda got his kit off, The aussie was found out, Lollita found a truely grumpy pussy, Moxie was vexed, JC stands to pay another £100, oneto15 got(presumably) a good night, Neilo stayed quiet, I got rat açççç and MAY be in the calendar, Ronald has bunged some in, Marc has done some sensible deletions.....just an insy winsy £10?
Many are keeping very quiet. Many of the usual posters have been firmly zipped since 7th April. Please leave off with the Sally baiting, let's keep this cause on the right track.
Tanti Auguri a TUTTI e buona FESTA

[url=http://www.justgiving.com/italy-abruzzo-earthquake]Justgiving - ITALY Magazine Abruzzo Earthquake Appeal[/url]

I will join the unpopular front and not for the first time.

Everyone has the right to either donate or not to donate and to whatever good cause they choose. It is not right and certainly not charitable to single out an individual and berate them publicly for making a personal choice. That is our democratic right. When a dictatorship takes over and people are told what to, rebellion follows.

This particular feud between certain forum members comes to the surface time and time again, no matter what the topic and for the rest of us, it is an unwelcome distraction and one that I think the majority would like to see come to an end.

There are certain people that irritate the hell out of me both in the media and in real life. If it is on TV, I change channels and if in real life, I choose not to engage in conversation with them. It is even easier here, just use your [B]ignore button [/B]if the very sight of a forum members name incites you to analyse their post in more detail than CSI and then display a public dissection of every part that has been examined for incriminating evidence. Furthermore, others could show some restraint when replying and [B]not quote [/B]from posts from the members who contribute to this ongoing spat, where such posts are naming or referring to certain people in a way that could be offensive, belittling or critical.

I am not taking sides here, but just trying to bring some sense back to this otherwise wonderful forum.

Or am I just pi$$ing against the wind again.

Russ

[url=http://www.justgiving.com/italy-abruzzo-earthquake]Justgiving - ITALY Magazine Abruzzo Earthquake Appeal[/url]

[quote=DavidUno;116294]Please people, there is more than one who has not contributed to the fund.
This may be an unpopular thing to say BUT...SD has contributed posts, I daresay that she has donated to her preferred charity ( but a tenner to this one pleeese)(or even a token £2?) Come on Sally, Ghianda got his kit off, The aussie was found out, Lollita found a truely grumpy pussy, Moxie was vexed, JC stands to pay another £100, oneto15 got(presumably) a good night, Neilo stayed quiet, I got rat açççç and MAY be in the calendar, Ronald has bunged some in, Marc has done some sensible deletions.....just an insy winsy £10?
Many are keeping very quiet. Many of the usual posters have been firmly zipped since 7th April. Please leave off with the Sally baiting, let's keep this cause on the right track.
Tanti Auguri a TUTTI e buona FESTA

[url=http://www.justgiving.com/italy-abruzzo-earthquake]Justgiving - ITALY Magazine Abruzzo Earthquake Appeal[/url][/quote]

[quote=Russ;116296]This particular feud between certain forum members comes to the surface time and time again, no matter what the topic and for the rest of us, it is an unwelcome distraction and one that I think the majority would like to see come to an end. [/quote]
Amen!

As DavidUno put it [quote]Please leave off with the Sally baiting, let's keep this cause on the right track.[/quote]

Come on guys, and you do know who should be the recipients of this post, leave her alone. As Russ says this is a free world. She is entitled to give money to the charity of her choice and your attitude, both past and present, is not helping. So please stop rubbing it off and inflicting more wounds.
Not a very charitable thing to do and extremely negative for all those involved. I like you better when you are doing positive things.

Hi

Can a mediator step up to the line please :yes:

I shall second that.

Thats an interesting thought Aretina, whilst I trained as one in my previous life I dont think I would be offering my services on this one!, its a dive for cover job, and an ignoring of abusive pms ( and I admit I have had them). So it needs a stronger more impartial person than me.
A

I second Russ absolutely. Naming and shaming really sours all the fantastic efforts so far and my congrats to everyone who's worked hard/made an a*se of themselves in aid of a cause which we all hold dear

[quote=Aretina;116304]Hi

Can a mediator step up to the line please :yes:[/quote]

I took that role for a long time, and all will know that I was never an admirer of the 'other group'. However over a considerable period of trying - with my (and others) very best endeavours, both openly on the board and privately away from it, to get the hatchet buried it just was not going to happen. The olive branch offered by 'them' was refused time and again and yet I feel that it would still be on offer if.... if what? What would be required to have the courage to accept that branch and finally bury that rancour.

But [U]this[/U] time I was so, so... [I]not[/I] angry, but annoyed that not even for such a heartrending cause could the feud be put aside by one party. The fund was begun initially by the efforts of one person, and very quickly others helped put the 'how' it could be done into an incredibly successful show of teamwork and solidarity.

What better opportunity could there be to to come back into the fold and be accepted as one of this great team. But once again that opportunity, despite several encouraging and non confrontational comments at the outset, was ignored - but (here's my point) [U]so was the fund and it's results! [/U]

No doubt wheels will turn and this thread wil folllow others and be deleted. So be it - but at least I've tried to see both sides over a long time - and take my word for it, I'm only just discovering that there's a lot more to this than meets the eye!

Point taken Carole B, but your last paragraph hits the nail right on the head.

Open conversation is impossible on a medium such as this and not everything will ever fully "meet the eye", so the danger of forming opinions based on mix of public forum and private messages, is that there is the potential for being influenced by someone elses opinion and not your own personal observations.

I just hope that my suggestions in my earlier post are taken on board so we can be rid of the nastiness that perpetuates. And no, this is not aimed at any one person.

Russ

[url=http://www.justgiving.com/italy-abruzzo-earthquake]Justgiving - ITALY Magazine Abruzzo Earthquake Appeal[/url]

[quote=Carole B;116324].........So be it - but at least I've tried to see both sides over a long time - and take my word for it, I'm only just discovering that there's a lot more to this than meets the eye![/quote]

:smile:Hi Carole

I completely understand where you are coming from and agree with you. Like you I have been around on the forum for a bit and know some of the history but I am hoping that the spirit of forum goodwill that is around this weekend could extend a little further..... we all feel better without the aggro...few of us know each others circumstances and/or history... and the motives behind certain behaviour.

This may be a virtual community but hurtful, selfish remarks, pms and posts from whichever party hurt in the Real World.:yes:

Will someone take up the Mediator role plea:smile:

I don't really care who said what to whom. If I care at all it's about others who are put off by what they come across here. If you want people to give to your appeal, I don't think it helps to lay into other forum members, however unpleasant. In fact that goes for participation in the forum as a whole, but is especially relevant to the current good work being done here.

All anyone has to do is look at the grazies to see that there are two factions here on this forum.

Neither is right and neither is wrong and there will continue to be spats for as long as these factions exist.

It does put people off and it does give Italy Mag forum a bad reputation.

So instead of going over old ground again and again can anyone think of a solution?

Sorry, Nielo, but I do not agree with you regarding the "Grazie" button. I think that most people will use it as a sign of recognition for some post which brings in interesting information or comments. I landed in this Forum well after all the fights had started and I have seen some nasty things going on. I have always tried to put an end to the bickering which I consider an absolute nuisance and detrimental to the Forum and its members. But then, this is something beyond my control as it depends on the real players of this silly game. I do not take sides and I will always refuse to do it; however, I think that if we could all be a bit more tolerant and stop judging everyone, perfect - well, perhaps almost perfect - harmony could be achieved. And this does not mean that we could not have different points of view and even a good although polite argument. Otherwise, it would be boring.

[quote]can anyone think of a solution[/quote]
I don't know if this is a workable solution, but if people would pledge to stop bringing it up again and again, wouldn't that solve the problem?

I’m sorry to disagree with you Gala and I’m sure you use your grazie button responsibly, but it is obvious for everyone to see the different people who grazie one side or the other.

The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Carole B For This Useful Post: Remove Your Thanks
Aretina (Today), Charles Phillips (Yesterday), Ghianda (Yesterday), janie (Yesterday), jojo (Today), Lollita (Yesterday), Nielo (Yesterday), Oneto15 (Yesterday)

The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to Russ For This Useful Post:
AllanMason (Today), Angie and Robert (Today), annec (Today), DavidUno (Today), Francesca (Today), Gala Placidia (Today), Noma (Today), Penny (Today), PennyAW (Today)

I know that if we all exercised a bit more restraint, harmony might ensue but some people ( me included sometimes) just can’t, the frustration is overwhelming.

We did have a nice period of calm, so It was proved that if just one of the protagonists is out of the picture (yes in this case Sally but I don’t blame her for everything that goes on here) it is perfectly possible to have a good debate and disagree with one another without tempers being lost.

I do not advocate anyone being banned and I wish we could all get along, I wish the offers of olive branches would be accepted but just as it takes two sides to fight so it must take both sides to agree to stop goading each other.

I have no solution, I have tried whatever I could think of ; offers of olive branches; the ignore button but none of it is any good if people are so determined to ruin this forum.

So come on all you creative thinkers surely there is some solution?

Nielo, I agree with most of what you say. I do not think that the example you have quoted proves that there are two well defined sides. Look at the total amount of posts and the "Grazies' and it is easy to realise that at least quite a few of us thank people from both "sides". I do not consider myself as part in this quarrel which is very frustrating and will lead nowhere.
I would dearly like the nasty remarks, provocation and bickering to finish once and for all. Yes, I would have loved to see some kind of peacemaking or truce achieved through a common goal which is far much more important than personal issues. And I am not blaming anyone in particular.
Is there anyone out there who can come up with a practical solution? In that line of thinking, we are totally in agreement, Nielo.

Agreed Gala. Thanking a poster for advocating peace and an end to the squabbling, isn't an affiliation with one side or the other of the warring parties. It's an affiliation with those who would like both sides to simply drop the matter.

Phew! What a hotbed of unrest I have stumbled upon ... Perhaps the removal of the 'grazie' button would disenfranchise those who wish to score points and at the same time seek some comfort from the implied support conferred by the subsequent 'grazie - ing'. (It follows that no one should 'grazie' this post, despite a very high proportion of readers whom will undoubtedly feel a strong urge so to do - lol). Or, alternatively, perhaps the mods could offer a 'disrespect' button option which could carry an additional benefit in saving a lot of typing for regular posters and reading of opposing factions povs - dissed at the click of a button! Less entertaining but possibily just as satisfying??

On the other hand, life is too short to spend any more time than this .. [on this thread; so .... sort of defeated my intention of brevity almost immediately by adding the square brackets for the sake of clarity].

Please don't take away the grazie button until we have relieved JC of £100 :laughs:

[quote=Poetica;116384]Phew! What a hotbed of unrest I have stumbled upon ... Perhaps the removal of the 'grazie' button would disenfranchise those who wish to score points and at the same time seek some comfort from the implied support conferred by the subsequent 'grazie - ing'. (It follows that no one should 'grazie' this post, despite a very high proportion of readers whom will undoubtedly feel a strong urge so to do - lol). Or, alternatively, perhaps the mods could offer a 'disrespect' button option which could carry an additional benefit in saving a lot of typing for regular posters and reading of opposing factions povs - dissed at the click of a button! Less entertaining but possibily just as satisfying??

On the other hand, life is too short to spend any more time than this .. [on this thread; so .... sort of defeated my intention of brevity almost immediately by adding the square brackets for the sake of clarity].[/quote]

Re Grazie and brevity..... go and grazie JC on this thread, because I note you haven't already [URL]http://www.italymag.co.uk/forums/general-chat-about-italy/12137-make-me-pay.html[/URL] and she will give a pound to the Red Cross Abruzzo charity.

No brainer. :smile:

:smile:Hi Poetica

Grazie(s) can do good:yes:

Please have a look at the 'Make Me Pay' thread in the general thread at the top. JC has offered to donate a £ for every grazie. This is one weekend when we are all trying to do something for others far worse off, I dare presume, than any of us on this blog. I guess all are on this blog because they love/live in/want to live in Italy and this is our way to show our distress and sadness for the people of Abruzzo and offer a little practical help.

Best wishes

Wow! Now I feel judged and condemned as unworthy because I have not grazie'd JC to publicly show what I have contributed to the folks in and around L'Aquila. I was actually responding to the earlier posts which sought some solutions to the abatement of exchanges of which this has now become representative!! I think that is what is called ironic.

No No NO

Poetica I have no idea who you are or what you think of anyone - I just thought, that as you had not made the member called JC give a pound of her money for the sake a pushing a button that was a no brainer. :smile:

Up to you though how you feel, but I had no intention to judge or condemn - simply trying to put another £1.00 in the pot :smile:

The only solution is for BOTH sides to agree to stop.

Having said that I will also say that there NEVER will be a solution because it is not possible to have a dialogue on your own.

Please prove me wrong.

True, it's not possible to have a dialogue on your own.

But it is possible to break off an argument on one's own. If the other party tries to continue, they fail, because no one responds.

That would be excellent and fine (and it does happen) but the spat is not resolved, it just goes underground and waits to bubble up sometime later.

I’d like to see it finished once and for all.

[quote]’d like to see it finished once and for all.[/quote]
You have the power to do so already.
Nothing bubbles up on its own- we as individuals choose to bubble it up.

If it were in my power Noma, I would have put an end to this, years ago.

But I have no control over the petty instances, which keep on keeping on.

Someone tell me why the fundraising thread of JC’s was voted a one star – at a time when we should all put aside our personal feelings and pull together, it is that deep seated antipathy which will never be addressed.

Anyway I wont discuss this any more (I’m sure you will be pleased to hear) but I predict that the fights will continue until [B]everyone[/B] involved decides enough is enough.