Back to Your Italian Roots: When Family Bonds Are Stronger than Language Barriers

[Photo: Claire Romano Fisher, the subject of our interview this week, with her Italian relatives.]

Our series ‘Back to your Italian Roots’ continues with the story of Claire Romano Fisher, whose parents both came to America through Ellis Island in the first part of the 20^th century. Inspired by a trip to Italy in 2005, when she visited several medieval villages, Claire began to wonder if her parents too came from a medieval town. And so began her search for surviving relatives in Italy, even though she spoke very little Italian. But language, as she would find out, was never an issue: family bonds proved to be stronger than language barriers.  

Claire, what prompted you to begin your search to trace your Italian roots? 

In 2005, my husband and I went to Italy with friends. I was the only Italian and the only one who had never been to Italy! We stayed in a villa in Umbria and toured a number of medieval towns including Assisi, Deruta, Corciano, Torgiano, Perugia, Solomeo, Città della Pieve, Castiglione del Lago. I loved the medieval cities! Began to wonder: did Mom and Dad come from medieval cities?

Please describe the process. Did you already know your ancestral town? If not, how did you find it? Who or what was your first resource when you started your search for your ancestral town and Italian relatives?

It has been so easy for me to find my family in Italy because Dad left a "paper trail"! He wrote his biography,  “My Story,” a few years before he died and also drew a family tree; these documents paved the way.

Both Mom and Dad came through Ellis Island. Mom came to America as baby in her mother’s arms in 1912. Her family came from Caivan. Dad’s brother was the first in his family to arrive in America. In 1921, at age 16, my dad arrived.  We have the manifest pages and records from Ellis Island for both of them.

One lazy Sunday in late 2011, I started an Internet search for my cousins still in Italy, using the family tree and dad’s biography. I figured the “cuginas” would have married and changed their names, but not my “cugino”. I found a phone number! I speak very little Italian and I guessed he spoke little English. When we decided to do another trip to Italy, it would include my Dad’s hometown and meeting my cousins. How to contact him? We have neighbors from northern Italy. I asked if one of them would do the talking when we made the phone call. “Of course!” It took 2 tries on different days, and noted the 6 hour time difference. She reached them on a weekday. Not sure who answered the phone - my cousin’s wife or their daughter. The phone was quickly handed to him when “Stati Uniti” was mentioned. It did not take him long to realize who I was.  I followed the talking to this point, then it became too fast for me to translate. My cousin commented with great emotion, “We have lost touch for so long. We have become small”. Meaning his parents, sister-in-law and brother-in-law had passed away. We exchanged email addresses and began to communicate.

I have not spent a lot of time searching Mom's family. Women change their last names. While I know some names, the relatives she left behind in Italy were so much older than her. Mom did visit them with Dad on their two trips. But I do not know the younger generation or their names.

[Claire - far left - meeting her Italian relatives for the first time in 2012: her cousin, cousin's wife and daughter.]

What were the obstacles, if any, during the process of finding your relatives and then getting in touch?

Thanks to my father, my neighbors from northern Italy and modern-day Internet, I had no problems finding Dad’s family. He left a treasure with “His Story” and our family tree. It enabled me to quickly find the info on the Ellis Island database and the family he left behind in Italy.

Please describe the moment when you first met your Italian relatives. How did you feel?

We arrived in Sorrento, May 14, 2012. The next afternoon, my cousin, his wife and daughter drove from Roccapiemonte (province of Salerno, Campania, ed.), about an hour away. We greeted each other with hugs, kisses and tears! It amazed me how easily the short visit went - even with the language! Two days later, he picked us up at our hotel and we spent the day with them in the hometown! Again, the two languages were not a problem. (Well, we did use Google translate a few times…)

It was pure joy meeting this part of my family. Always in my mind, I want to think the ones no longer with us are watching these meetings and Internet messages with joy! Because they are - pure joy!

Please describe how you felt the first time you walked the streets of your ancestral town.

I loved walking the hometown! It indeed is a medieval town. Throughout its history it has seen Saracens, Greeks, Normans, Lombards, Romans and probably a few more! My Dad’s home was 3 rooms a hundred years ago. In 2012 it was under renovation - now it has 3 floors! In 2015, it was finished: solar panels on the roof, beautiful tiles and wrought iron entry gates. Although the water fountain is still in the street, I am not sure it is needed. There is plumbing in the new building.

[Claire - fourth from left - in front of her father's renovated house.]

Ultimately, what has the experience of reconnecting to your Italian roots meant to you?  

We have enriched our lives so much by meeting this family from so far away. We use Whatsapp and Facebook to keep in touch. Birthdays and holiday wishes now go back and forth. Family activities are shared, commented on. I often think how my father would have loved the Internet to speak to the family he and his brother never forgot! He and my uncle would have LOVED talking to them frequently on Skype and Facetime!

Interview is slightly edited for clarity and length.