2975 A Joke?

The new-look Liverpool team was almost perfect. The only thing that was
missing was a good striker to ensure FA Cup success. One night, while
watching TV, the manager saw a war report from Afghanistan. In the
background, he saw a young Northern Alliance soldier with a truly incredible
kick. He kicked a hand grenade straight into a 3rd-story window 200 yards
away, KA-boom! He kicked another grenade into a group of 10 soldiers 100
yards away, KA-blooey! Then a car passed, going 90 mph, another kick,
another bulls-eye!
"I've got to get this man on my team!" The manager said to himself. "He
has the perfect kick!" So, he brings him to the UK and teaches him the great
game of football, and Liverpool go on to win the FA Cup.

The young Afghani is hailed as a Great Hero of football, but all the young
man wants to do is to call his mother.

"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the F A Cup"
"I don't want to talk to you," the old woman says. "You deserted us. You
are not my son."

"I don't think you understand, Mother!" the young man pleads. "I just won
the greatest sporting event in the UK. I'm here among thousands of my
adoring fans."

"No, let me tell you," his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are
gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two
brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and this week
your sister was assaulted in broad daylight." At that point, the old lady
pauses, and then tearfully says, "I'll never forgive you for making us move
to Liverpool.":)

Category
Circolo di Conversazione

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 03/17/2006 - 08:57

Phew George..

I'm so glad you don't live in or near Liverpool.. sounds like a lively place and you wouldn't last a second.. especially as there are people in Liverpool with such fancy footwork these days!

Don't worry too much if you ever visit though.. I'm sure you will be escorted.. back! :D

:) :)

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Wed, 03/22/2006 - 05:09

An Italian, and Irishman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping", To the Irishman he says "You're in charge of shoveling." And to the Chinese guy, "you're in charge of supplies". He then says "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile." So the foreman goes away for a couple hours, and when he returns, the pile of sand is untouched. He says to the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" The Italian replies in a heavy accent, "I didn't have a broom. You said the Chinese a guy was in a charge of supplies, but he a disappeared and I couldn't a find a him." Then the foreman turns to the Irishman and asks why he didn't shovel. The Irishman replies in his heavy brogue, "Aye, ye did lad. But I counna get meself a shovel. Ye left the Chinese guy in chairge of supplies, but I counna fin' him." The foreman is really angry now, and storms off toward the pile of sand looking for the Chinese guy... Just then, the Chinese guy springs out from behind the pile of sand and yells...."SUPPLIES!"