10472 House guests from HELL!!!

When we moved to Italy we were delighted that many friends came to stay with us and share our joy in the country.

However we now realise that having a house in Italy is also a magnet for pseudo friends who just want to ponce a ‘free’ holiday.

I think we have just had the worst such experience and wonder if anyone else has had the same sort of thing happen to them.

Our so-called friends came for two weeks – which is too long even to have nice people in your house. They used all our stuff, and I mean even our toothpaste and deodorant. Ate our food and drank our wine, never offered to pay for anything not even a pint of milk. Did the washing up with great fanfare twice but most of the time just sat and expected to be waited on.

Said ‘it’s not fair to expect you to do all the cooking let’s go to a restaurant’ then left us to pay the bill!

Put their dirty clothes in our wash basket and expected us to wash dry and iron them - on this I’m afraid they were disappointed after my first shocked boiling of the soiled knickers!

I can write this because they are now gone and will definitely never be coming back.

We are normally relaxed hosts and welcome our friends visits but on this occasion we really feel we were taken the p**s out of by a couple of freeloaders who saw the opportunity to exploit our good nature.

Anyway, the weather has been s**t so there is a God!:laughs::laughs::laughs:

Category
General chat about Italy

Oh dio Neilo I do so hope that you feel better now you have "let it out". TWO WEEKS....the Italians say 3 days is enough as visitors are like fish they go off after 3 days. We did up our cowshed first..2 beds 1 bathroom. In the first few years we lived there whilst restoring the big house and had similar visitors to yours (I think your house is small?). Once the big house was done I applied for a B&B licence and could say sorry we have paying guests!!! Infact we use our little house for friends and family and they have to pay for the cleaning lady and in winter something towards the heating...but they are down there and we look down on them. Very few lend a hand but many do buy dinner!!!

Nielo
Ohh you poor ****** , but the 3 day rule works well for us .........head for the wine cooler

[quote=Nielo;97492]................. we really feel we were taken the p**s out of by a couple of freeloaders who saw the opportunity to exploit our good nature..................[/quote]

Surely you'll 'get your own back' when you visit them for a couple of weeks - after all, "Fair's fair"

.

I really feel for you Nielo... freebooters like that must really be awful.
Like you, I knew I would probably get a lot of 'visitors' once I retired here. The first time living here was different - no cheapie flights! But this time I just [I]knew[/I] I would be 'entertaining' quite a few.

So I took a chance in loosing those, who maybe weren't the friends I thought they were, right from the word 'GO'. I wrote to everyone and explained that while I was [I]really [/I]looking forward to having a load of visitors, there were gonig to have to be some conditions as I was now a pensioner and, as they knew, I had just survived a massive heart attack.

The rules I sent were as follows:
They are MORE than welcome to visit [B]but...[/B]
1. I cannot afford to feed them - they will have to cover the cost of their food. I am quite willing to the provide wine, but not spirits (if they were 'drinkers'). This is overcome with ease by having them do the shopping [I][U]with[/U][/I] me and paying for their share...
2. We all 'muck in' with the housework because I don't have servants and I'm NOT one either.
3. I will (happily) do all the cooking, but [I]they[/I] lay and clear the table, load and unload the dishwasher.
4. If we go out for a meal - I will pay my way... (subtle way of saying I won't pay YOURS).
5. If you want me to drive you around sightseeing - I will love to do so - but you chip in for the petrol!

I thought such 'rules' might offend. Well they [U]did[/U] offend two single friends (who wanted to visit [U]and[/U] bring a friend with them - yeah, right!), but I've not heard from them since... But [B]all[/B] the others said they fully understood what I was saying.

Tomorrow I have a couple arriving for 10 days and this is their third visit [I]together[/I] this year (her fourth), and she has visited seven times on her own over the last three years.
Other friends (all couples) visit at least once a year and often twice. They ALL muck in, and apart from the wonderful company that I get, there is almost no extra work for me because they've visited.

One advantage is that I also get a nice regular supply of British 'goodies'. But even with that, I [I]insist[/I] on paying for the things they bring over at my request. These day's no one can afford to carry free-loaders. And peole who [I]are[/I] like that aren't real friends are they?

I absolutely agree - 3 days is the maximum time for "stayers". In fact, this was always the case for me when I lived in England as well - 3 days with the in-laws was always MORE than enough!

Our own pet hate when people invite themselves to stay with us for a weekend, is when they say they have booked their flight to Milan and would we pick them up. Not a huge problem, you might think, eh? But Ryanair's idea as to where Milan is is Bergamo - and that is a 2 hour drive for us. We always say to come to Genova, as it is only an hour from here - but we have a couple of friends who still insist on coming to "Milan". But at least they only stay for the weekend, I suppose! :winki:

Have every sympathy after having endured a similar experience. A couple of years ago my husband worked in Rome and we had a wonderful house (not ours) with swimming pool on the Appia Antica. It was amazing how many friends from England we suddenly had. To be fair many of our guests were friends of our Teenagers most from relatively wealthy families. However, amazingly some turned up with very little spending money (a box of chocolates for us if we were lucky) and preceded to drink and eat us out of house and home. As well as expecting to be taken on guided tours of Rome (including restaurant meals) for nothing. We even caught one 19 year old boy sneaking out for an evening on the town with our beer!

The worst experience we had was a 'friend' of mine who asked if she could come to stay for a couple of weeks with her daughter we said yes the week before arriving she asked if she could bring her 3 twentysomething nieces from Canada. They were an absolute nightmare, no social skills at all, not able to do anything in the kitchen, .

What used to really annoy us though is the lack of a thank you letter or even telephone call when they returned.

Interestingly since living in Umbria we have had very few visitors, the house is a mess and we do not have a pool . We plan to have a pool next year and already I have had comments such as will come over and see you when the pool is in!

The 3 day rule seems a jolly good idea!! Nicola

Hi Nielo

First of all, a big sympathy hug.. we've had one family who fit your description (friends of partners) but not for two weeks at a time.

Just seven visits, each lasting 4/5 days over the last 5 years, and after these 7 visits with no offer of help, warm welcome thought (copy of the newspaper would have been great) or thank you gesture I thought I would try to extract a little consideration from them before their last visit.

I asked them to bring me a box of tea bags and a christmas pudding.
Yes they brought them and then told me that the receipt was under the christmas pudding wrapper!

Other half and I nearly split over this family, now if they want to come I will go elsewhere - spa, england etc. (as will the servant, cook, laundress, entertainment facilitator etc etc!!!.) and partner will be left to cope.
His view is that they wont come again.

Haven't heard of the 3 day rule but there is a german expression that visitors are like fish they both go off after 4 days.

Give me paying guests every time, good to meet, usually very very interesting and there is an end date. And lots come back too as pgs , to become new friends.

Our only inviolable rule is that guests MUST have their own (or hire) car at their disposal. Even if they are single. (It's only the singles who get aggravated by this requirement, but that's not so bad, because usually couples entertain themselves much better, and go out rather than hang around wanting to be 'entertained').

Sorry to hear about your bad experience, Nielo. You have all my sympathy and thank heavens they are gone. We had lots of similar experiences, with "close friends" popping out of nowhere and having lovely free holidays at our expense. I finally got sick and tired of the whole thing and now I have a long list of suitable excuses ready whenever these people call: "We are so sorry, but we happen to be leaving on a round-the-world trip (or similar) just that very week, and we don't know when we are coming back".... or similar.
We only invite a very small group of friends and family who are a pleasure to have with us and who are the first ones to try to help and assist with everything. The others.... they are no friends or relatives.... just a bunch of free-loaders.... and I just want them far away from us.

[quote=Aretina;97509]Hi Niel

Give me paying guests every time, good to meet, usually very very interesting and there is an end date. And lots come back too as pgs , to become new friends.[/quote]

Hola everyone,

I agree with Aretina, except from time to time you get the paying client from hell. In 5 years of activity I have had two. A couple from England and a couple from France.

The pair from the UK were indescribably vile. She thought she was coming to Harrods Food Hall and had a body to match. She molted like a dying horse and complained about everything. I realized on the last morning that she was a trifle and choccy biscuit breakfaster. He is not worth passing comment on. OK now onto the froggies.

I lived in France speak the language fluently and know a lot about the country. He was dull, a typical French civil servant without ambition and full of distrust for anyone and anything not made in France. She was pencil thin and clad in that super pressed denim dress that middle class French ladies like to wear. She thought she was so haut bourgeois. I rumbled her early on and quickly realized she was petit bourgeois and a poor imitation at that. She disapproved of everything. Spain, the food, the people and the bathroom light!

The third morning of their stay she came up to the bedroom which I had just finished cleaning. Without even so much as a "merci bien monsieur" she swept past me as if I was the invisible man, swivelled on her stick insect legs and pointed accusingly at the strip light over the bathroom mirror: " Zat she said, gesticulating violently at the strip light, ees horrreeeeble". Controlling my urge to stick her head down the freshly bleached loo ,I replied, " Is there anything else you don't like today Brigitte" and left.

The following four days were icy. How I resisted the urge to tip the fruit salad over her head at breakfast is beyond me. However, I did manage a modest revenge. My dog is French by birth, and probably still by nature. She slid quietly under the breakfast table and left the most wonderful pile of poo. Gotcha!

Luckily, 99.9% of my clients are lovely but when you get a bad one it's awful.

U abrazo,

Santiago

oh dear I am going back to England for 5 nights and will be staying with a friend will I become like a fish after 3 days!?
A

[quote=Angie and Robert;97516]oh dear I am going back to England for 5 nights and will be staying with a friend will I become like a fish after 3 days!?
A[/quote]

Not if you use some nice perfume like 'Joy' Angie. :bigergrin:

I guess I left myself open to that one !. But on thinking about this thread and the complaints peope have made about house guests (and I sympathise the same has happened to us) sometimes I feel and I dont know about other members experiences but would be very interested to hear, it is possible to identify the person being complained about. For me this is a difficult situation , and my answer is not to join in on the thread, what have/would others have done in this case?.I am talking very generally here , naming of names is obviously not appropriate.
A

I'm not sure that, in the case of friends (or, more likely, acquaintances) there is much that you can do short of simply telling them to Vaff off. Our own recurring "problem", the last time he was here, offered me €8 for fuel costs (his remaining cache of €s) - not even enough for the Autostrada tolls! What can you do? All I do now is ignore him when he starts talking about coming again - it seems to have worked for the last 12 months... so far...

Seems to me that part of the problem here (not in the original post but in some responses) stems from running a business for paying guests and trying to accomodate (non paying) friends in the same place/at the same time. Inevitable mixed messages there, so no great surprise to me that it goes wrong occasionally.

re. the original post: most people have a load of acquaintances ( who masquarade as friends), a social circle of casual friends (who'd be no use in a crisis) and a few real, lifelong friends (usually 4-5 max) who actually measure up - and are probably closer to family than friends in that respect.

Only ever invite only the latter category to stay with you in your own home. For them, the visit is not primarily about hospitality, weather or tourism, its about keeping the friendship fresh and remaining an active part of each others lifes. Pamper them within the limits of your finances & circumstances. They will always reciprocate within their own means. I try not to let my guests lift a finger when they stay with me - unless that would genuinely make them feel uncomfortable (which it usually doesn't, once they "get it"). In return, I'm treated like royalty (or like part of the family, which is even nicer) when I stay with them.

For the rest (the acquaintances and the fair weather friends) - take the initiative. Email, inviting them over for a visit whenever they fancy - to the local agritourismo. Tell them how lovely, convenient & good value it is, and assure them that you'll sort out a fab itinerary for you all to enjoy together - for which they'll of course need to sort out their own hire car. Include a deluge of web links to reinforce how easy and convenient it will all be for them to book, and offer any help (translation etc.) required in facilitating said bookings.

Results -

1) the "freeloaders" are subtly informed that they are never going to get the opportunity to holiday at your expense - and (somewhat more subtly) that they are part of a large & visible "to:" list of similar people, from which your 'real' friends are absent.

2) Anyone who is happy to take you up on the offer on those terms is by definition not out to sponge; they clearly like your company, your location, and the prospect of fending for themselves whilst enjoying both of them. I'd wager that they are therefore people whom you could invite into your home on future visits without fear of being taken for a ride ... it's always nice to "upgrade" an aquaintance to a real friend when the opportunity arises!

I allowed a friend to stay for three months - free of charge - in my home while I was working away. I left her with a fully stocked larder and freezer and on my return found it completely bare. She arrived from work - walked in as bold as brass with a single can of tuna fish in her hand and informed me that it was to replace the groceries she had consumed.

It went completely over her head when I asked her how many grains of rice she'd eaten. :laughs:

Great thread, I think we've all been there. But in just about every case its about how we lay back and let (friends? ) walk all over us then complain when they've gone and can't hear us.

[quote=Chris Newton;97530]Great thread, I think we've all been there. But in just about every case its about how we lay back and let (friends? ) walk all over us then complain when they've gone and can't hear us.[/quote]
Us Brits, eh?

:laughs:

[quote=juliancoll;97526]I allowed a friend to stay for three months - free of charge - in my home while I was working away. I left her with a fully stocked larder and freezer and on my return found it completely bare. She arrived from work - walked in as bold as brass with a single can of tuna fish in her hand and informed me that it was to replace the groceries she had consumed.

It went completely over her head when I asked her how many grains of rice she'd eaten. :laughs:[/quote]
funnily enough I had an almost identical experience - my friend stayed FOC in my home in the UK when I was working abroad for 3 months too (are you my doppleganger?). It was like a bomb site when i got back. He proferred a 3/4 empty bottle of whisky on my return, saying "thanks man, I bought this for you but, err, I seem to have drunk most of it last night ... sorry!" and we headed straight for the pub (there being nowhere obvious to sit down in my flat amidst the carnage, and a rather unappealing smell permeating the place too).

Still I was a carefree batchelor at the time, the house was a bit of a bomb site to begin with, and he is still a close friend (who didn't do it out of badness, he just lives on a different plane of existance from the norm, bless'im).

New to this so I think I'll follow Carole B's suggestion and have a list of "House Rules"

I have told friends that they are "welcome" to use the house when we are not there as long as they pay for the electricity and cleaning.

However, I don't want to take it to extremes - my sister and brother in law had a pub in Cornwall and after my partner and I worked in the pub all Saturday night - clearing tables and cleaning the kitchen - when my other half asked if he could have a Britvic Orange Juice - my brother in law CHARGED him!

Nowt as queer as folk....

[quote=Chris Newton;97530]Great thread, I think we've all been there. But in just about every case its about how we lay back and let (friends? ) walk all over us then complain when they've gone and can't hear us.[/quote]
Ok Chris, just for you:

I had to throw out (bodily) my future brother in law from my house midway through his first visit there. We invited them to come from their home in Spain for a weekend in Glasgow (to my 2 bed flat) and they booked a 10 day trip.

Despite me working all day while they were there on holiday (no advance notice so I couldn't orgaise time off work) I still cooked for us all most days, drove them around te country, generally entertained them etc. Towards the end of the trip, he & my sister in law had a massive bust up - I came home to find them screaming at each other from either side of a closed door in my hallway, with him kicking at it for emphasis.

So, off he went, frog marched straight out the door and to a local hotel for the last day of the visit. We drove them (separately) to the airport for their return flights. He texted me his apologies for his behaviour & his thanks for not having abandoned him, to which I replied (thinking I'd never see or hear from him again) "no worries, this crazy family would drive anyone mad" or words to that effect.

They later got back together, got married and my text was brought up (by another sister in law) and used against me during a family 'discussion'. Go figure. They've not yet plucked up the courage to ask to visit us in our house in Italy, but it will no doubt happen eventually ....

Thank you all for your sympathy, we have had loads of other visitors and they have all been a pleasure so it was a shock to realise there are such unspeakably badly behaved people in the world, and an even bigger trauma to have them in our home.

Having rules is a good idea but even if I had thought of rules I don’t think I would have had one saying ‘Don’t put your heavily soiled knickers in my wash basket and leave them for me to wash’

Ah well you live and learn!

In all honesty I can't afford NOT to have rules... I'm on a fixed income which can suddenly resemble the Titanic when the exchange rate decides it's time to bu*ger everyone about.

When my 'fixed income' can lose 22% of it's value overnight, how can I (and why should I) ever risk offering free holidays to friends, many of whom aren't yet in my position and are both earning? Or to those whose fixed income doesn't have to be transferred before they can spend it.

I lived a number of years early in my marriage where there was too much month at the end of the money... It was a hard lesson to learn. For that reason I don't wan't to have too much life left at the end of my money (what little there is) now!!!

Yuk - too much information Nielo! :bigergrin:

I wonder when you will give your 'friends' a link to read this thread! :laughs:

As we are still renovating our 'pile of stones' and not yet taken up residence, this thread is a real eye opener, particularly as we had some 'friends' phone up last night and want to know if we would have the pool in by the first week of August as they wanted to book their holiday!! At first I was taken aback, but I said sure it will, but as that is prime holiday season it is 2000 euros a week (it is only be a small two bedroom house) but friends and family can have 10% off. It went quiet and he said he would come back to me and changed the subject.
As suggested, I will now compile a comprehensive list of excuses and be ready for the next call!

Good point J&C, and I guess my post re identifying people on this forum got somewhat lost.But I still think it is an issue we shoud be aware of,
A

[quote=Nardini;97506] We always say to come to Genova, as it is only an hour from here - but we have a couple of friends who still insist on coming to "Milan". :winki:[/quote]
You could always try sending them aTrenitalia timetable - that should keep them busy for a while!

Thanks for all the tips and useful excuses guys. :winki:
I will now have to put them into practice when in Italy.
Here in Germany what used to get me was when friends said they would come to visit for a week, say Saturday to Saturday.
Without asking they would ring and announce they got a much better deal on their flights by booking their outbound journey for a few days earlier.
Of course they still kept their return date for the following Saturday. :rollingeyes:

We had some 'friends' turn up last September. Whilst not that bad, they were still a pain to put up with. Such as needing a TV and DVD player in their room, to be left on all night, so they could go to sleep with it on. Or the need to borrow 3 towels just for a shower.

Or wanting to go and see places a long drive away, only to arrive and be asked where the local bars were or when are we going back because they wanted to get drunk.

And they were so tight on filling up the tank for petrol, they would wait until almost empty and then only hand over €10 at a time. Around here there aren't fuel stations on every corner and at least twice, we came close to running out.

Our only shred of comfort was in the knowledge that on the day they went back, one of them got so sunburnt, she had blisters on the back of her legs and had to sit in the car for over 3 hours like that, on the way to the airport :bigergrin:

[quote=Romano;97569]You could always try sending them aTrenitalia timetable - that should keep them busy for a while![/quote]
Especially if they bring their dog with them, eh? :bigergrin:

[quote=Nardini;97601]Especially if they bring their dog with them, eh? :bigergrin:[/quote]

Probably, the dog will be nicer.... although the French say "Tel maître, tel chien" to indicate that the dog tends to resemble its master...:wideeyed:

Great thread! Comforting to know that others allow themselves to be walked over and only complain after the event. I agree that its 'a British Thing'!! However, I must also say that on balance we have more good experiences with visitors than bad and most we are MORE than happy to see again.

[quote=Gala Placidia;97603]Probably, the dog will be nicer.... although the French say "Tel maître, tel chien" to indicate that the dog tends to resemble its master...:wideeyed:[/quote]Harry has bigger (and better) teeth than me though... :Dancing_biggrin:

[quote=Nardini;97606]Harry has bigger (and better) teeth than me though... :Dancing_biggrin:[/quote]

Aah ......................... but are you both house trained?

.

[quote=alan h;97609]Aah ......................... but are you both house trained?[/quote]

errrrmmmmm...

:err:

This thread provokes very mixed feelings for me.

Our place has a very comfortable self-contained flat which is specifically for the use of any friends who want to come and stay. We don't charge them anything and do our best to make sure they have an enjoyable time with us. Still, we've had people here for a total of less than three weeks this year.

While I am very pleased that we haven't had "friends" who have behaved like some of the people mentioned in this thread, I do think occasionally that it would be nice to have guests here a bit more often. Maybe it's the very rural location of our farmhouse. Maybe it's the fact that the people we know who have come before and might do so again all have busy working lives, families and interests far wider than just Italy. Maybe it's just due to me being a miserable sod who nobody wants to spend time with. Whatever it is, people say they'll come back but rarely do.

Still, I'd definitely rather have splendid isolation and blissful tranquillity (as if any house with a six month-old infant is ever that!) rather than someone else's dirty knickers in our laundry basket.

We once went to stay with some friends of friends who were living in Boston (we'd only met them twice) - we kind of wangled an invite BUT but we more than paid our way - we took them out for dinner, bought presents for their kids, helped out in the house. We were really conscious that they had people visiting every weekend for about 4 months every summer & couldn't afford to go out all the time. They are now really good friends & will probably be the first people who will come & stay for free in our Italian house.

[I]It's true of all our house guests[/I]
[I]I've learned it to my sorrow,[/I]
[I]That though they're often here today,[/I]
[I]They're seldom gone tomorrow![/I]

You should have given them the cold shoulder...
Bunch

[quote=Bunch;97699]You should have given them the cold shoulder...
Bunch[/quote]

We did!
They ate it …and the salami and the prosciutto
:laughs::laughs:

We did!
They ate it …and the salami and the prosciutto

Obviously not cold enough.
B

Hi
Esp. to Pilch and Sprat, quite understand about 'bad guests' making a relationship tricky!!
We very nearly split up over ours.

The worst thing about this kind of unwelcomed guests is that they manage to make you feel guilty. You start saying to yourself that you have misinterpreted them, that it is all your fault, that you should make an extra effort.... They manipulate you and make you feel that it is you the one who has lost that welcoming attitude and that you do not enjoy the company of other people as much as you did before....
Fortunately, my husband reassured me...." you have done everything for them, you were the perfect hostess, nothing wrong with you, it's them.... and I don't want to see them again". Then you start reflecting on the lot, and yes, they were taking us for granted and abusing our hospitality. This is why, lots of bad experiences after, I have all the right excuses not to welcome them again. And I have developed a sixth sense to predict who is going to be trouble... particularly those who could not care for you for ages and then they appear out of the blue when they find out that they can pick up a free holiday....

[quote=pilchard;97720]Just received a text from said friends saying,"Thank you for putting up with us". Well I'll go to the bottom of our stairs" Does this mean they think we have forgiven them and they can come AGAIN!!!!!! Aaaaaaargh.... and you know what I'll get to that "life's too short" phase and forgive them! But not yet!
Sprat[/quote]

Lets hope they read this Forum - If they do, they won't be coming again

And you'd be surprised who does read it [I was]

They eat and drink you out of house and home and assume you'll pick up the conto also in restaurants. Expect to be driven all over the country to see places they've always longed to see but couldn't be bothered to visit until they knew someone living close by. The magazines, marmalade, English strength tea or whatever they bring is poor compensation. We've learnt the hard way: only very good, very old friends are now ever invited.

I don't think the word 'friend' is quite adequate for some of the people in those stories! I've had only a few people out but had problems trying to pay my share of restaurant bills. In the end I gave up or just insisted on buying a better bottle of wine. At home it was a real pleasure to go down to the cantina and get another decent bottle as they are far better shared.

My nephew and gf enjoyed their stay so much last January that niece and fiance are also coming out next January as a foursome, so I'll have to buy a roofrack to carry all the skis! Told them I can't do the airport on a Sunday (my football team play) and they are fitting in with me, but I am really looking forward to it.

I've just got back from the UK and reveived hospitality all over the country, and I'd welcome every one of those friends out to me. Perhaps I tend to know people with less disposable income, and they seem to appreciate other peoples' situations rather better.

Yet another "situation" we had, a few years ago, when we were living in the centre of Milan, centred around another "old friend" - who is no more.

He came to stay with us for a "long weekend" - only 3 days, thank goodness - together with his wife who I barely knew. As you mostly know, my wife is Italian. Our first walkabout into the centre of Milan started with my ex-friend's wife commencing to complain about the "funny money" and that no one spoke English properly. A good start. My wife remained quiet, but I could sense a little steam in the air! I won't say anything about the shorts, the socks in the sandals (really!) or the gaudy t-shirts - other than to mention that they came in March, when everyone else was still wearing their fur coats!

The only comment that came forth when we were standing on the roof of the Milan duomo was, "I never knew Milan was so big". She complained about the ice cream not being like that "back home" - etc. The second day, we thought they might like to explore the city on their own.This they did for about an hour, before returning and asking us to take them to see Lake Como.

That evening we suggested that a restaurant would be a nice way to see a little more of the city, so we took them to a very well known Sardinian fish restaurant. When the main course arrived, she told us, loudly, that she didn't like this "fancy" fish, despite her having chosen it from the menu after much discussion with poor hubby. It was just a simple grilled swordfish steak - I suppose that the word "steak" had her confused. Naturally, she asked for a "milky cappucino" at the end of the meal. Needless to say, I picked up the €400 bill at the end of the meal - after waiting quite an indecent length of time for them to check their wallets, need I add.

What followed was a long-ish discussion about the superiority of the English and that Italy should never have been allowed to "get away with it" after the war. There was a lot more said than that, of course, that I have managed to blank out now. The evening did not end well, need I add.

The following day, I took them to Linate to catch their Easyjet flight back home to Woking with barely a word spoken. I heard no more from Ray and Joan after that. Not a word - nor even a mumble. So, Ray and Joan, if you happen to read this - or either of your sons - please feel ashamed of yourselves.

OK, rant over with...

[quote=Nardini;97757]Needless to say, I picked up the €400 bill at the end of the meal - after waiting quite an indecent length of time for them to check their wallets, need I add.[/quote]

I always pay my way, and I'm not used to Milan prices, but I have to say that was an expensive restaurant and I couldn't afford to be taken to a place like that! Perhaps we need to be aware of people's budgets, unless of course you are offering to pay. Some of the other posts have said that guests have expected them to pick up the tab, but asking beforehand what sort of restaurant they can afford makes the situation clear.

Another horrific story though.:bigergrin:

Yes Nardini often the attitude is worse than the freeloading. Our guests kept saying they wanted to meet the Mayor. When asked why? They said they wanted to let him know they had come all the way from England to visit his humble little town. Needless to say we avoided the situation.

Maybe we should compile a ‘How not to behave, when visiting friends in Italy. A simple guide’

Rule number one, please dont dart in front of funeral processions to snap happy holiday snaps, as explained it is a funeral Not a wedding and whilst they are carrying flowers it is not a happy time and your guesture is not appreciated! (true story).
A