2105 Invitation Etiquette

Invitations for lunch or dinner at home are normally very informal, as they are for friends and relatives. We prefer restaurants for formal meals (your boss or something like that).
We don't have aperitif invitations, nor morning coffees of afternoon teas. The odd espresso can be offered at home, but it usually originates "on the spot".
Lunches with friends and relatives are normally over the week-end, dinners can be any day.
We sometimes have the "dopocena", that's an invitation after dinner, with drinks, or cakes, but nothing major.
Afternoon teas is something very high class, or among elderly people.
Hope this helps.

Francesco
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[QUOTE=Francesco]Afternoon teas is something very high class, or among elderly people.
Hope this helps.

Francesco
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So if I'm 50 and I invite someone over for tea, does that mean I'm very high class, or among elderly people? :eek: ;)

Definitely high class:p

It takes 90 and 1 month before you're considered old ;)

Francesco
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Do tell me more about doppocena. What time is this, how long do people stay? What is served? Is it coffee with cake, grappa or what? Is this more a popular invitation when the evenings are light as opposed to winter?

As Francesco said, if you want to socialize with someone here, you don't invite him to your home but in a restaurant or in "pizzeria" (more economic and informal, you can find there only pizza and fried food) to have a dinner. Dinner, not lunch. Generally is in Saturday, the most used hour is 8:00 pm. If you go with a girl, you pay for her.

If, for some reason, you invite somebody to your home is ALWAYS "to drink a coffee", never for a tea. Tea as in Italy a very low diffusion, we drink it only in summer as cold tea.

I have some relatives in Australia, when someone came to my aunt's home my mother said, as in Italy it's used to do : "Do you want a coffee ?".

Everybody looked offenced, afterwards my aunt explained us that you offer a coffee in Australia when you want that your guest leave off ! :-)

Thanks for that example, I enjoyed the Australian misunderstanding. Still looking to know more about the etiquette for thanking people for something - or a small celebration in the home rather than at a pizzeria. Please keep the advice and examples coming as this does seem to be quite a delicate area.

Italians very often go to each other's houses...it is really frequent to have dinner at friends. Aperitivo is more often taken in a bar though. That's something I really miss here... the Torino bars for aperitivo....

Paola

Well, as I said, dopocena (literally "after dinner) is something light. When you invite someone for a dopocena you normally say "Ci vediamo dopocena", not specifying exactly when, but guests know they can come after 9/9.30, a bit later sometimes.
Most people meet dopocena for some chatting, or to watch a video. Some for card games (rarely though).
Coffee is a must in most cases, drinks can be offered as well. Light snacks or ice cream but nothing more (after all people have just jad dinner!).
And ususally by midnight everyone is in bed, especially if this is not over the weekend.

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Of course it all depends on the age group (25-30's or over 50's) and the region you are speaking about, also if its the big city or a small town in the provinces. Its pretty hard to generalize these things. When I first moved from Rome to this small town I started inviting interesting people for a drink dopo cena in my just renovated palazzo... Of those who came some were very dressed up , some brought their teenagers to see what a "foreign " house looked like.
The idea of a "salotto" for conversation was quite odd to most. They usually had to have a reason for visiting a person's home. Usually it had to be to eat with a capital E.

I think in this case I am thinking of the over 50s and their younger son. They do know our house quite well too. It is a country area and very probably good manners would be very important for this occasion.

Thank you all for your input, please keep the suggestions coming in.