2984 A concern about where this forum is going

There isn’t a way of saying this kindly I guess. I have tried to punctuate properly in this posting and even to check my spelling.

What’s wrong with some people? I don’t know if everyone gets the same feeling but it seems to me there are some here trying to turn a public forum with a just aim of helping and informing into some sort of private club. With the main aim it seems to me of belittling some of the newest members or making the place such an area of nepotism that many feel left out because they are just not part of this club.

There are members on here that continually post in a generally constructive way, spending time imparting what they have learnt or know in a helpful manner. Vast amounts of knowledge on technical details and often many with experience of life here that they feel can help others.

So what’s the point of the clever one liners, the telling off if someone asks a question, oft repeated, why cannot we just answer without the sarcastic comments? Sure point out the search facility, its useful here, but maybe do it in a way that someone posting for the first time doesn’t feel that they have asked something stupid or we are all bored with answering the same question. We all had to start here, that some of us have been around a while should not mean that we think, or it appears to me, that we own the place. Think back maybe to how useful it was for us at the very start when we were trying to sort out the fact and the fiction.

Not that long ago many asked for and got the members private area and the chatroom. So why not keep the area of the public forum clean of stupid comments, often posted to prove how intellectually superior we consider ourselves and leave the main forum with serious questions asked for serious reasons alone unless we have something to say of use.

In my mind there is very little joy to be had out of making people feel inadequate for asking a question, wouldn’t it be a better place if we started remembering what the point of the forum is and maybe keep the so called crap where it belongs and let those that want to help, help. If you cannot be bothered or think you are better than those starting off on this journey just go away.

Category
General chat about Italy

Very aware that the forum has changed considerably since we first took part in Italy Magazine Forums. For those that did not know there was an earlier one which think was attacked and lost completely with all info. Former members all had to rejoin.
We often post very short answers but they are never intended to be rude or appear to be that way. Just lack of time or knowledge, or maybe both! Do hope that the forum will contine to be informative and fun for all members, new, old or ancient. Good posting Adriatica.

I suppose its a problem - and this must happen to any forum - people get to know each other - and push the limits - I think thats why the Circolo forum is there

I find a hell of a lot of information here - its all good

Dont stop answering those pertinent questions people

[CENTER][CENTER][COLOR=black]Adriatica, I would like to reply in full but I'm not 100% sure who or what you actually mean. Fights, one liners and sarcasm has been going on and off ever since I joined. I would ask you to check my past posts, I can remember telling two off when I first joined but for some reason my past posts only go back to August 05. :confused: [/COLOR][/CENTER]
[CENTER][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][/CENTER]
[CENTER][COLOR=black]Yes, the forum has changed because people and time change, even you have changed since the old days. Not so long a go you certainly didn’t mince your words in one post. :) [/COLOR][/CENTER]
[CENTER][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][/CENTER]
[CENTER][COLOR=black]Anyway, The majority of newbies have not had a negative response unless they themselves have come on attacking. Sometimes it is better to just say hello or point out the search rather than nothing or the new person may feel ignored. [/COLOR][/CENTER]
[CENTER][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][/CENTER]
[CENTER][COLOR=black]From what I can see, what some people think is funny others don't, what some think is publicly correct others don't and like you if I don't agree with something I say so.[/COLOR][/CENTER]
[CENTER][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][/CENTER]
[CENTER][COLOR=black]We are back to the same problem, how and who judges what is or is not appropriate.[/COLOR][/CENTER]
[CENTER][COLOR=black][/COLOR] [/CENTER]
[CENTER][COLOR=black]If I personally have done something to upset you please say so, either on here or in a PM if it's really bad. ;) [/COLOR][/CENTER][/CENTER]

John..

Aliena is fretting.. has someone taken over your internet account and is now masquerading as the Il Mare Adriatico we all know and love? Not only does this post not look like you.. it doesn't read like you.

Get the torches and the dogs ready.. I'm sending out a highly skilled search party.

:) :)

Great post, John.

As someone who has only dreamed of living in Italy - before real life got in the way! - I don't get involved in what I can only describe as bitching. Let's remember that all of Italy is a beautiful place to be, so if you've settled in Abruzzo then fine, if it's Puglia fine again, Toscana again good for you, and so on.

I have been saddened by some of the attitudes, but then they are not unique to this forum. Putting it bluntly, a lot of what I've read comes across as childishness. Sure, we can disagree about things, but let's disagree in a grown-up way that does not shout out 'yah boo sucks to you'! All forums have their ground rules, the first of which is to be polite and considerate of other people's feelings. I have to say that, with a considerable number of postings, that very simple rule has fallen very clearly by the wayside.

As I say I am only an observer, with no axe to grind save that the forum - any forum - should be an agreeable place to be, for everyone. And quite frankly this forum too often is not agreeable.

Well posted John, I cannot, of course comment further, good post.

A point well made, John! :)

However, I half agree with Trullo about advising newbies of the search engine is a better response than none at all - but I would suggest to add a couple of shortcuts to where answers might be found (by doing a quick search yourself for the question asked and posting the links). This only takes a couple of minutes after all and the new person would be able to find useful links straight away ... but that shouldn't stop members with the relevant knowledge from sharing it again. After all, we all learn from repeated information as we might have forgotten all about it ...

My earlier idea of focussing on a certain area each week should've been a small exercise in sharing knowledge of those who live or spend their time there. But sadly there weren't that many responses to my post and people are afraid of becoming antagonistic again during such discussions. Bang goes a great opportunity to find out more about all areas of Italy ... :(

Agree, though, that general chit chat belongs to the CdC...

Cheers!

Iona..

Im sure you have seen this thread.. but for those who may not have.. it may be worth a read..

[url]http://italymag.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=2964&referrerid=1047[/url]

Your idea about focussing on different areas is a good one.. start a thread.. choose an area.. and lets see what happens.

I didn't want to start one on Naples 'cus it seems not many are interested and have very negative opinions on Campania in general.. but if you or others are interested.. I'm willing to do it.. not only for others.. but 'cus I will also learn more as I research.

:) :)

well done John couldnt have put it better myself

[B]Q. [/B]What is this forum ?
[B]A. [/B]A place where all the italianlovers can find and share informations and news about Italy.
Is this answer correct ? Surely yes, but it is only partially right.

Many people use the forum in that way: come in, get the information, go away. Thre's nothing wrong with it.

For other persons (? 80 - 100 ?) this forum is a sort of family.
Every component of this family knows (virtually of course) each and every other component and knows that each of them have a specific nature and quality.
Like in every family there's the boring uncle, the batty aunt, the nervous cousin, the funny nephew, the wise grandfather etc. etc.
And like in every family there are arguments: uncle John doesn't like reds, cousin Jane has a punk pin in her cheek, cousin Jo is envious of cousin Tom that has became rich, uncle Frank is still arguing with aunt Mary for the grandmother's inheritance, but arguments don't prevent them to remain...
a family.
Sometimes their arguments disturb the neighborhood, but it's still a big pleasure for all to be invited at their family parties, even if someone get drunk or there's a bloody mess.

[QUOTE=notaio][B]Like in every family there's.......the batty aunt........[/QUOTE]

He's talking about you Ali!!!:D

LOL

Andy

Notaio..

Non dimenticare mai la piccola casinista!! :D

Andy..

See above.. work it out :D

:) :)

[QUOTE=Aliena]Notaio..

Non dimenticare mai la piccola casinista!! :D

Andy..

See above.. work it out :D

:) :)[/QUOTE]

Hellraiser??? Muddler??? - depends which version

Andy

Personally, I like this forum and have received helpful and serious information - I hope that will continue and I'm sure I will ask stupid questions without properly doing a thorough search and I hope I will be forgiven. I am still hoping to find a place to live in Liguria! I loved Nataio's answer!!! I do feel that a core group of you are like a family! You talk to one another as if you are and as an outsider - I like you all! It does seem as if people get upset on this forum which is unfortunate. Well, some days I know I can get upset if someone just says "boo" to me!! but let's not forget the good things and the helpful and fun replies. the written word is often seen in a more aggessive and abusive manner than it is meant. what the writer thinks is wittily sarcastic may appear cruel. How about a nice glass of Proseco and a plate of pasta.
sarah

Andy..

If Aliena is the hellraiser.. I reckon Trulli is the batty Aunt.

Does this mean you are the boring uncle? :D :D

:) :)

[QUOTE=Aliena]Andy..

Does this mean you are the boring uncle? :D :D

:) :)[/QUOTE]

What? The one who drones on and on about technology. The one who has a sanctamoneous look about him because he know you haven't got a clue what he's talking about etc etc.

Nope not me. Never ever ever do that!!

Andy

PS: I'd be the drunked starting a fight with great aunt trulli because she dropped her false teeth in my pint!

Loved your answer Notaio. Your English is so good puts us to shame as we struggle with our Italian.

Andy..

Did you mean sanctimonious? I never said.. you were a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg that looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.. 'twas Mark Twain! :D

I know I haven't got a clue what you're talking about when you drone on and on about technology.. but I still read every single one of your posts.. and Aliena said she luvs ya like a little brother.. 'cus you take the time to write them for those who do.. and make them interesting to read for those who don't!

:) :)

[quote=andy s]What? The one who drones on and on about technology. The one who has a sanctamoneous look about him because he know you haven't got a clue what he's talking about etc etc.

Nope not me. Never ever ever do that!!

Andy

PS: I'd be the drunked starting a fight with great aunt trulli because she dropped her false teeth in my pint![/quote]

I defy anyone not to **** themselves laughing when they read this.
:D :D

And notaio and Sarah just brill, down to earth and practical approach!
;) :)

[quote=notaio][B]Q. [/B]What is this forum ?
[B]A. [/B]A place where all the italianlovers can find and share informations and news about Italy.
Is this answer correct ? Surely yes, but it is only partially right.

Many people use the forum in that way: come in, get the information, go away. Thre's nothing wrong with it.

For other persons (? 80 - 100 ?) this forum is a sort of family.
Every component of this family knows (virtually of course) each and every other component and knows that each of them have a specific nature and quality.
Like in every family there's the boring uncle, the batty aunt, the nervous cousin, the funny nephew, the wise grandfather etc. etc.
And like in every family there are arguments: uncle John doesn't like reds, cousin Jane has a punk pin in her cheek, cousin Jo is envious of cousin Tom that has became rich, uncle Frank is still arguing with aunt Mary for the grandmother's inheritance, but arguments don't prevent them to remain...
a family.
Sometimes their arguments disturb the neighborhood, but it's still a big pleasure for all to be invited at their family parties, even if someone get drunk or there's a bloody mess.[/quote]

Thought I would frame this, makes me really smile! :) :) :)

Notaio, your response was brilliant, a true craftsman, Andy S, your posts are to me and my husband soooooooo valuable we bow at your feet.
I think that Notaio so summed it up, all have their place , knowledge, humour , god knows we all need that, wisdom, pragmatism, , heretics, you name it, it all adds to the mix, viva la forum I say!! I love it :)

Seeing that the thread has er.....evolved. We would just like to say well done Adriatica

Strange how things turn around isn't it?

I'm certainly happy that they usually turn around for the best in the end.

:) :)

As Nataio and Iona said it's "la famiglia!!!" and who else sticks by you even if they irrate the hell of you sometimes!
sarah