3509 La Famiglia Zia

Someone on another thread asked me to talk about my family, which is very kind.:) I thought it would be best to start in a new thread.

But where shall I start? :confused:

I could tell you that I have six children, four boys and two girls. :) They're good kids really; I know the judge said that Tomasso was one of the most evil psychotic dangers to society that had ever entered his court room, but he doesn't know him like I do. The way that he would take food up to Uncle Gio in the attic (where he was kept for his own safety) when he was a boy, was always very touching; he would take up nearly twice the amount that Gio needed, but the plate would always come back empty.

And then there's Elana, who is doing very well on my old pitch in the Villa Borghese. :D

I don't have much time now, as its time to take my medication, but I will let you know more when I can.

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Circolo di Conversazione

It is a great shame, evil psychotic danger people say? I say he just wanted to take a very close person interest in his fellow man. I blame the society of today when you are no longer allowed to beat a 4 year old because she will not go and stack the wood pile. They say that she will be taken in to care, but then who I ask, is going to stack the wood?

Hello, I'm back now, feeling much better, thank you. :D

Then there is my other son, Carlo. He is an estate agent, and really smart. He specialises in selling "properties" to English people. The English people give him a fee to find their dream home in Italy. Carlo has to work hard sending lots of emails! But he finds the houses for the English people, but here is the really clever bit - the houses don't exist! And because the English people are too lazy to make the trip to Italy, Carlo has to do all the work employing the geometras and lawyers to find out about the property, and guess what? They don't exist either! So Carlo sends lots more emails, and collects more fees! But he has to work hard to write all the reports. And then the English are so horrified when they read the reports, they decide not to buy the house! Carlo changes his email address, and goes on a holiday! I am very proud of my Carlo. :p

I think this is what has been missing from the forum. It is great to hear from a typical Italian about how their family struggles to make ends meet.

Thank you so much Mark. Yes life in Italy is a struggle, but also pudding, as the saying goes. :D

I am also very proud of my other daughter, Paola. She has made €30,000 in the last three years, just by having babies! The mayor (her lover and my half-brother) has introduced a scheme in our little commune to encourage people to have children. She gets €10,000 for each one!:)

Unfortunately they didn't live very long, not having the right number of heads etc :(

[SIZE="3"][/SIZE][FONT="Book Antiqua"]Thank god we have some of the old spark back!Welcome Sally hope your family continue to thrive.

Becky[/FONT]

There is a rugby song with the chorus line: "they're the finest fugging family in the land". Can't remember which tune it goes too?

Virus spreading

The vowels have started multiplying :)

If you're ever down in London, and you have no place to go
And you cannot find a spot to sit you down,
For a penny on deposit you can hire a water closet
And a season ticket costs but half-a-crown.
There's a gent's convenience at the corner of Waterloo
And a ladies' one a little further down,
If you've an aching in your heart we get a penny for a fart
We own every public lavat'ry in town.

Have you met my sister Tilly? She's a w***e in Picadilly
And my mother is another on the strand;
And my father hawks his ***hole round the walls of Windsor Castle
We're the finest fugging family in the land.
Have you met my Uncle Hector? He's a cock and ball inspector
At a celebrated English public school,
And my brother sells French letters and a patent cure for wetters
And an ointment for the sores upon your tool.

Funny you should mention viruses, Relaxed! Cousin Luigi got a terrible virus once, a bit like the flu; coughing and wheezing so much that he sounded like chitty chitty bang bang. And then one day he sneezed so hard that his glass eye popped out and hit the chief of police in the back of the head. :eek: The chief of police gave him some special medicine, which stopped the coughing alright. :( Cousin Luigi is now a pillar of the community, supporting the new road over the local fiume. ;)

Have you met my sister Tilly? She's a w***e in Picadilly
And my mother is another on the strand;
And my father hawks his round the walls of Woolwich Arsenal
We're the finest fugging family in the land.
Have you met my Uncle Hector? He's a cock and ball inspector
At a celebrated English public school,
And my brother sells French letters and a patent cure for wetters
And an ointment for the sores upon your tool.

[QUOTE=sdoj]If you're ever down in London, and you have no place to go
And you cannot find a spot to sit you down,
For a penny on deposit you can hire a water closet.
[/QUOTE]

The curse of an over active imagination, is that I can almost hear you singing this:( I just hope your voice is better than my imagination, or at least let me explain why you have all those tomcats hanging round outside:D

Ooh, at least its just your imagination that is overactive; with my brother Enzo it was his thyroid.:rolleyes: At least that was his excuse; I have at least 43 known nephews and nieces in this village, you would believe that chaos buying christmas presents is :p

Where were you bought up? Tell us some thing of your childhood.

Oh no, the back streets of post war Naples are too painful a memory :(
Papa had been shot point blank by the partisans some years before I was born, so poor mama had to bring the 15 of us up the best she could. :eek:

At least my many uncles brought us sweets :p

Hello again :D

I must tell you about my other son Alfonso. He is a very good man, and used to hang around in a caffe in the piazza, where one day he met a raven haired Neopolitan beauty called Scousa. They had a whirl wind romance and were soon married. Then, at their wedding party, they were sitting quietly in a corner of the restaurant, when my uncle Enzo arrived with a rattlesnake on a rope. :eek:

Now it turns out that Scousa had a terrible aversion to snakes, took fright, and jumped on the master of ceremonies. In the ensuing melee, her black hair (a wig! ) came off and she was revealed to be a bald fat man! :eek:

Alfonso has never been the same since ;)

3509 La Famiglia Zia

good to see

Is it Sally's family?

to be sung in a scot's accent

alternate version