3722 Don't be scared!

Liked the inserted extra!!

I think I'll hold for the operator as they probably all apply!

Thanks for the pep talk!

Jackie

You mean you read it twice?

My Gawd, you are in a bad way woman! I'll get my alter ego to call an ambulance for you.. now, if only I can remember the damn number! If not, I will get Tinks to take us to the clinic in the space ship!

:D :D

Arghhhh help...

What's the code for memory loss again??? ;)

Memory and mental health are easily restored by a flight in the space ship. We have several new models available depending on the severity of your brain cell haemorrhage.

Captain Tinks is highly qualified to fly anyone who is of nervous disposition. Priority will be given to those who are in most need or anally retentive. Solo flights (models 3 and 4) are not recommended for beginners. Flights to and from Italy carry a small surcharge. Group bookings in our deluxe model (not shown) are available for parties of 6 or more

Please choose your preferred model and place your name on the waiting list for an immediate appointment.
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anastasia - That just shows why I have to wait for the operater. Does reading it again make me obsessive compulsive, paranoid or suffering from short term memory loss!

Anyway despite the bad close encounter perhaps I should sign up for the space ride to cure my phobias - can you sit me next to the anally retentive as those gay guys are just sooooooooooooo interesting!

Jackie

I am sorry all places for the anally rententive are fully booked, however, the health authority has only allowed this group one way tickets due to cut backs.

Men of a happy persuasion are advised to bring a partner in order to stop wishful thinking from the other passengers. Light refreshments will be served as we fly over Milan due to careless planning and dinner will be served on the return journey, somewhere over Naples. The on board film this season is "One flew over the Cuckoos nest".

Meanwhile, I would like to introduce you to our Captain
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and his Navigator.
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Welcome aboard.

:D :D

Right, wing commander Sassy!

Deluxe it is for me... but I'd still like to know what kinda craft I'm getting into!! Could you kindly provide me with a photo??

Also, I assume that the seats are comfy black leather with head & foot rests, there are nice photos on the walls, the film played is a happy one, carpet is fluffy, and the laghi below are pointed out to us in time so we can admire them??

Ohhh and I hope there's some Prosecco too? ;)

What did I just say??? :(

Wow - The Captain looks hot but I prefer the navigator who looks kinda cool!

Jackie

... and where are the air stewards??? ;)

Well, everyone to their own taste, but I'm waiting for an introduction to the gorgeous number four in post number five (or, maybe, number nine - I've had to scroll down.........)

Nobody has queried the 666 number?? My black cat's favourite :)

Happy to oblige Matron!

Here is the Deluxe model, it actually belongs to Aliena, but she is too busy spinning in her grave and has kindly donated the craft for me to use, as and when required.

This space ship is the absolute top of the range super turbo charged model and less than six months old. The interior is finished to exacting standards and specifications, as would be expected from any quality Italian manufacturer.
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The seats are fully automatic with built in total body massage facility and full recline function. They are made of the finest pigskin suede, which contrasts nicely with the softest calfskin black leather and are extremely comfortable for anyone with back or severe fetish problems.

We also have a lounge area for the lizards with full wet bar serving only the finest wine and champagne. However, Aliena was rather economical and refused to purchase crystal glasses, as she said they often chipped easily.. along with the unavoidable fading of fine linen.

Therefore, we cordially invite you to bring your own paper plate and cup. Plastic knives and forks can be provided on request and at extra charge.

:D :D

Unfortunatley, for you, Relaxed, no introduction to model number four in post number five is possible, as these are for super advanced solo flight models only available to Tinks and myself.

No one will query the 666, as everyone knows what is what and who is who.

We are able to offer an economy seat within the deluxe model though if you would like to take a maiden voyage. Please have your application form stamped in triplicate and present it to the boarding crew.

I also take this opportunity to introduce you to Trulli who is your inflight hostess this evening. Please click her photo to see her in action.

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Trulli is highly trained and commands the galley area with a firm hand and the utmost respect.

:D :D

Wasn't it Trulli who lost the keys to the drinks cabinet? Can't class her as an A Class stewardess :) I like my crew to wear Alitalia wings on their uniforms -then at least they don't speak with an incomprehensible Irish accent...

Relaxed,

I apologise, but you have been disqualified from entering the spaceship due to posting at post number 13. Permission to board is currently denied.

:D :D

Oh, really sorry, did not realise this was a BRIT spaceship - now if I had posted at number 17 (and maybe this is number 17!!) you could boot me out, but what is with 12A?? or 16A....

Post number 17!! Boot me out from the last supper.....

Deleting your post at 13 constitutes a further disqualification. I have no superstitions about numbers as this is now going to be post number 17.. unless you get to it first.. but even in Italy.. it must be made on a Friday.

As for it being a BRIT space ship.. I also regret to inform you there is Italian blood running the space ship.. however, as we are all happy to have anyone who is willing to have a good time then when you get off your downer.. perhaps you can reapply.

Whats wrong? I'm sure we have a button for those who seem annoyed for unknown reasons and not everyone wants to pay more than a penny for a flight if they dont have to.

Chill.. take it easy.. get with the program and Relax! You can have a go at those on another planet tomorrow.

:D :D

[QUOTE=Relaxed]Post number 17!! Boot me out from the last supper.....[/QUOTE]
Sweetie..

Your name is Relaxed.. not Judas.. or do you have a confession to make?

:confused: :confused:

Ascoltami - if I deleted post 13 I would not have the rights to post 17 - would I!! So no way do I delete post 13!!

If Brit includes Ryanair count me out of cattleclass, darling....even on a Friday!!

Cara Relaxed

Stammi a sentire.. o io rubero' tutti i tuoi angurie!! :D

Credami, tu hai torto.. hai impressione sbagliata! Perche'?

:) :)

[quote=Relaxed]Wasn't it Trulli who lost the keys to the drinks cabinet? Can't class her as an A Class stewardess :) I like my crew to wear Alitalia wings on their uniforms -then at least they don't speak with an incomprehensible Irish accent...[/quote]

It was baggio who lost the keys and I like the Irish they have a good sense of humour. :)

AArrgghh - you are right about those keys - but you have now lost me the envied position of being in possession of having post 17!! I don't think I said anything in the least bit disrecpectful to the Irish - certainly not intended!!

Why are you stealing my watermelons?? Trulli has denied me post 17.........I am the "victim" here - should I call my lawyer :) :)

Yes, Trulli is usually right about many things, however, it is Matron we need to worry about now.. she has been drinking Prosecco and will be in a terrible mood when she sees no one has made the beds with hospital corners. Uh oh! Too late..she has seen it!
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I reckon it's another job for Trulli, while I refuel the Deluxe version.. as it's proving so popular.

Tinks.. we're gonna be rich boyo!

:D :D

Lax..

Call who you will, but please get off the Lilac Whine. You have lived in Italy enough decades to show stylish gumption and please crank the handle on the space ship while you are at it.. or the damn thing will never get off the ground.. there's a dear.

Grazie mille.

:D :D

Nicely nice! Those leather seats look very comfy... and I'm sure Trulli the air hostess will be a great asset with her great assets to the aircraft business...

... however, where is Matron's eye candy???

Bring my own cup??? And plastic cutlery?? PLASTIC???? :eek:

Well, I suppose I could bring my medieval cup to pour that precious liquid into ... and only the family silver will do!

[quote=Anastasia]I reckon it's another job for Trulli, while I refuel the Deluxe version.. as it's proving so popular.

Tinks.. we're gonna be rich boyo!

[/quote]

Na, sorry toooo busy bossing managers about to worry about hospital corners! I'll have a share in that dosh though you two! :D :D :D

Nice cup Iona, could you bring the rest of the service along, it will complete the decor in the spaceship beautifully! ;)

We will shortly be ready for take off.

Your special cabin crew member Ugo Dare, who we have recently poached from Ryanair, along with Hew Givsastuff, will be coming to check your paperwork now.

Those not in possession of a Permesso di Viaggio from their local Comune, stamped in triplicate and showing that the correct tax has been paid will be dealt with under Bye-law 1976/EC/128-2A.

Hold onto your seets, we could be in for a bumpy ride. :)

[QUOTE=Wishful Thinker]We will shortly be ready for take off.

Your special cabin crew member Ugo Dare, who we have recently poached from Ryanair, along Hew Givusastuff, will be coming to check your paperwork now.

.... [/QUOTE]

Are they attractive, Cap'n??? Don't care about the rest!!

Papers in triplicate, as requested... but was asked to put all personal valuables in the hold, so you've got to get my 10 bags out of there...

Trulli - of course I'll bring the complete set! Don't like drinking and dining all by myself! ;)

Ahhh settling back now...

Tinks..

Don't you dare leave without me! Matron has changed her tag to erm.. 'Matron'. I wonder what persuaded the health authority directorate to allow that! Mind you, it sure beats being a Paediatrician.

Poor Aliena has 'BANNED' as her tag, so I don't see why I can't have 'ON THE RUN' as my mine, but Judge Dread took no notice of my request!

Ah well, never mind, I don't mind being the only Phoenix around.

Who is making the sandwiches for this evenings flight?

:D :D

Do not worry. Notaio will bring some nice Arancini. These will go well with the Prosecco. :)

It is most important when embarking on inter-gallactic travel to bring a Notaio with you. There may be some very public acts involving multiple personalities and stranieri that will need to be witnessed. ;)

Now, Signora, there seems to be some problem with your paperwork. Please step into the cabin for a closer inspection. :eek:

Health Authority?? Never heard of them... exactly what are they there for again??

Ahhh very nice - clean seats, clean windows, clean blankets for those suffering from low blood pressure, clean glasses & goblets for those wanting to enjoy the prrrrecious liquid, clean flying license.... any flying license at all??

Och wealll, where's me drink .... ooohh and the yummy arancini??

Tinks..

I don't care what you say, we are not having Arancini.. it sticks to the carpet and Aliena will kill us! :p
Now, seeing as no one here speaks Italian with the exceptions of Relaxed, who may have jumped ship.. who fancies a pizza in Via Chiaia just opposite Teatro San Carlo? I wouldn't say no.

We can go to see a production of Cuore Mio after dinner.. or we could fly on to Blackpool.. I mean Rimini.

:D :D

Pizza...excellent idea. :)

You can have a "mighmynd" and I'll have an "nappiness". Buon' appetito ;)

Mornin' Tinks..

Hows the cow? I mean Aliena.. not Mrs Tinks. :D

Little Aliena? (for those not in the know tuff) she's doin just fine, thanks :)

Tinks..

Get your act together - post a photo and then get this damn heap of junk off the ground!

God.. I sound like Aliena sometimes! :eek:

:) :)

Lambing's started :) Know any good names for sheep? ;)

[QUOTE=Anastasia]Tinks..

I don't care what you say, we are not having Arancini.. it sticks to the carpet and Aliena will kill us! :p
Now, seeing as no one here speaks Italian with the exceptions of Relaxed, who may have jumped ship.. who fancies a pizza in Via Chiaia just opposite Teatro San Carlo? I wouldn't say no.

We can go to see a production of Cuore Mio after dinner.. or we could fly on to Blackpool.. I mean Rimini.

:D :D[/QUOTE]

Who told you that ? Look at me ! Perfect Italian speaker; Star Trek and Start Wars lover (Luke Skywalker has been my apprentice), keen on SF...I dare say I'm the perfect pilot of the space ship.

What do you wnat more !? :cool:

May be the force with you !

Tinks..

You've got competition! See him off or let him in? Sergio might come in useful as a cook - even if he is from Porcia - he can make Matron feel at home as it's almost Germany! :p

I don't mind a galley slave - so long as he can row the boat and ride the storm.. if things get tough!

As for names for your baby lambs.. why not name them after the Forum members? You could use.. Aunt Sally.. Uncle Tom.. etc., etc. :D

:) :)

[QUOTE=Anastasia]Tinks..
.... a cook - even if he is from Porcia ...
:) :)[/QUOTE]

I could surprise you.... I was Born in Pordenone (near Porcia) and still have the residence there, but my mother is from Viterbo (near Rome) and my father is from Roccamonfina (Caserta) so that I have inherited the ART....then don't forget that [I]polenta[/I] and [I]tiramisù[/I] are from this area....and...least but not last I love cooking ;)

...You may smack your lips...

You are not allowed to smack anything!

Non mi piace polenta o tiramisu' and Romans have big noses! :p

But your father is from Roccamonfina eh? I have friends in Sessa Aurunca and Campagnola and I drive through Roccamonfina on the way to Marzano Appio and Vairano Scalo often. They have great Castagne e Porcini in Roccamonfina.. so maybe you can fly the space ship if Tinks says yes.

:D :D

[QUOTE=Anastasia]Tinks..

As for names for your baby lambs.. why not name them after the Forum members? You could use.. Aunt Sally.. Uncle Tom.. etc., etc. :D

:) :)[/QUOTE]

NO! They were not sheep, but foxes...natural sworn enemy of sheep :D

[QUOTE=Anastasia]You are not allowed to smack anything!

Non mi piace polenta o tiramisu' and Romans have big noses! :p

But your father is from Roccamonfina eh? I have friends in Sessa Aurunca and Campagnola and I drive through Roccamonfina on the way to Marzano Appio and Vairano Scalo often. They have great Castagne e Porcini in Roccamonfina.. so maybe you can fly the space ship if Tinks says yes.

:D :D[/QUOTE]

Don't say Roman to my mother (it gets on her nerves)....she is from Viterbo, that means she's Etruscan. :p

Yes, my father is from Roccamonfina and he went to school to Sessa Aurunca, but he doesn't want to go there anymore. He doesn't like some fellow-citizens.

Tinks..

Foxes are wonderful creatures and the sheep they eat are no problem. It's natures way! :D

Sergio..

Va bene.. you can bring your mum for a ride in the space ship, because she married a man from Campania.. so she must have very good taste and I'm sure she can cook!

No polenta though OK? :p

:) :)

Yummmm yummm... bring it on!! ;)

Tinks.. Trulli.. Matron.. Jackie.. Sergio.. everyone.

Quickly everyone.. they're at it again.. load up the supplies.. lets go. There's gonna be an Earthquake!

Don't forget the Maltesers.

Quick!!

:D :D

Hang on we've lost Frantiani, where she gone?

Tinks, I think Trulli would be a wonderful name for one of the lambs, good at following the flock! ;)

Don't worry about Fran.. she is making her way in the Ferrari and should be here any minute!

Sitting on the fence is not the same as following the flock Trulli, so ask Tinks if he has some something else cute that he can name after you.

How about a baby goat or a bantam? :D

:) :)