[From left to right, Deborah Caponera, husband Greg, Sergio Caponera and Simonetta Zander at the Comune -city hall- in Fumone researching records.]
Growing up in Connecticut, Deborah always felt something was missing, a sensation that stayed with her even when, as an adult, she moved to New York with her husband. One day at work, following a playful exchange with a colleague, she googled the name of her great-grandfather’s hometown, Fumone, and, upon seeing photos of it, was immediately won over. Thus, she decided to travel to Fumone that summer to search for her Italian relatives. Meeting her Italian family filled the hole she felt in her life, that missing part. Here’s Deborah’s story of reconnecting to her Italian roots.
What prompted you to begin your search to trace your Italian roots?
I have been researching my Italian roots for a number of years now and have been back to my great-grandfather, Vincenzo Caponera's hometown, Fumone, three times, so far. What started as an office joke has turned into one of my biggest passions; researching, discovering and cherishing my family's histories, the communities my ancestors came from, and the ties that remain. Perhaps even more important, I've fallen madly in love with the town itself, the very generous, welcoming people of Fumone and their willingness to put up with this crazy American. My trips to Fumone have not been just holidays like I've taken for most of my life. For me this is a true investment in family and community, where I finally feel I belong.
Growing up in the suburbs of Connecticut, while in beautiful surroundings, life there (as in most places around the U.S.) lacks in family tradition and community, especially when families live so far apart and our culture does anything but embrace real family ties and extended family. Two generations in over here and there is almost a complete breakdown and dismissal of the extended family. To this end, I always felt something was lacking, but couldn't put my finger on it. Being a creative person (artist, designer, photographer, writer, travel bug), moving to NYC with my husband 15+ years ago made a real difference and I felt like I was home for the first time in my life, but still, something was missing. I've been interested in my family roots on both sides of my family and most of them go back to early America (patriots who fought in the Revolutionary War, famous military generals, past presidents of the United States, even passengers on the Mayflower) with no stories of anyone on the Caponera side. There were rumors of my great-grandfather and his brother Luigi's travels to America, but the stories were few and far between so researching was difficult with very little result.
One day at work a colleague and I joked about how bad our day was going. She often scolded the rest of us in the office when we were feeling rough, telling us that when she grew up in Russian held Latvia things were really bad, so we silly Americans should be quiet as things could be a lot worse. That particular day it was she who complained about work to which I said, if it's so bad here... then what about your home country? She laughed and said that I should go back to MY country. My response was I'm so American, where do I go? She said, Italy! So, knowing only the name of the town where my great-grandfather was from, and needing a distraction from the workday, I went to my computer and googled "Fumone, Italy". That was it. I couldn't believe my eyes. It was love at first sight and I haven't stopped my pursuit since.
[Sunrise in Fumone.]
Please describe the process. Who or what was your first resource when you started your search for your ancestral town and Italian relatives (a relative, an office, an online service, etc.)?
My first resource was Google. The first images that popped up of Fumone were from the Antico Borgo in Fumone, a lovely bed and breakfast run by Lisa Eagles, a British expat who had married a Fumonese, moved to Fumone and became an integral part of the community. Those first images of Fumone and of views from the B&B were stunning. I immediately texted my husband (at work) and asked if he wanted to take a trip to Italy that summer. He said, “Why not!”
From there I began to research the town, its location, the population, even Google Maps helped me virtually drive around the town so as to get my bearings.
Since the photos of Fumone that I first fell in love with came from visitors of Antico Borgo, I decided to email in English and see if I’d get a response. In my email I said that I was looking to stay in Fumone as I was interested in seeing and learning about the town were my great-grandfather had come from, as well as look for living relatives. I got a quick response from Lisa, who not only had the dates open that I was looking for, but asked for my great-grandfather’s name as she would ask at the town council about him and his family. Lisa was so friendly and welcoming, as is everyone we’ve met each time we go to Fumone. With the help of Simonetta Zander and Sergio Caponera at the Comune di Fumone, Lisa found many family records, including an unknown sister of Vincenzo’s who has living descendants living in Rome. Lisa then spoke with many residents of Fumone asking about my great-grandfather and his family. She has been the greatest help in my continuing search.
[Researching records in Fumone.]
What were the obstacles, if any, during the process of finding your relatives and then getting in touch?
The obstacles that I continue to face are of finding more vital records that show me how I, and my branch of the Caponera family tree in Connecticut, are related to the Caponera living in Fumone today. Searching for information online is problematic because early records in Italy are not digitized. Having limited resources and working full time in the U.S. leaves only time for quick trips to Italy to do research. I also don’t want to impose myself on my new friends in Fumone as they have their own lives to take care of, so I do what I can when possible. Any and all of my successes in researching my Italian roots in Italy have been through good old human contact and establishing relationships with those I’ve met. I am forever grateful to them, especially Lisa, as they have helped me far beyond what I ever dreamed of. Even more importantly, we’ve become great friends and each time my husband Greg and I come back to Fumone we feel closer and part of the community.
On my most recent trip to Fumone I brought a couple of DNA tests with me that two very generous distant Caponera relatives agreed to take. The tests are still processing and I’m crossing my fingers.
Please describe the moment when you first met your Italian relatives. How did you feel?
I have yet to know for sure how closely related I am to the many Caponera I’ve met in Fumone, but every single one of them greeted me with open arms. I was blown away, still am, by their generosity and willingness to drop everything to help me find family. It’s not something I’ve ever found in the U.S..
Please describe how you felt the first time you walked the streets of your ancestral town.
The moment my husband Greg and I touched ground in Fumone I felt like we were home. It was strange and overwhelming, and hard to understand how at home I felt. Much of my heritage is early American, and living for most of my life in the same state where most of my ancestors dwelled since the beginnings of the country, hundreds of years ago, never felt this close to me. It’s almost as if my ancestors were welcoming me, the first one in my entire family, back home. It didn’t hurt that Fumone is a stunning, little jewel on top of a mountain in the Lazio region.
[Fumone, in the region of Lazio.]
Any fun anecdotes about meeting your Italian relatives?
After not being able to meet a Caponera who I’d initially met on Facebook on my first 2 trips to Fumone, and unbeknownst to me, Ferruccio Caponera, on learning that I’d be in Fumone, brought his entire family back from their holiday to meet me. My husband and I were out meeting with friends we’d made the year before in Fumone and I got a phone call. It was Lisa. She said, “Deb, Ferruccio is here and he’s brought his family home early from their summer holiday to meet you. You have to come back to Fumone.”
I was dumbfounded. Was I supposed to drop the plans I’d made with my friends who were treating us to a wonderful lunch in Anzio? Who was this guy who is demanding that I come back to Fumone to meet him and his family? Would Greg be upset that he now had to drive back to Fumone after we’d just gotten to Anzio? How was I to communicate with Ferruccio as I did not speak Italian and he did not speak English. It was very unexpected. Greg and Lisa were quite amiable, and soon enough Greg and I were in the car on our way back, Lisa promising to translate.
Greg, Lisa and I arrived at Ferruccio’s house and found it wasn’t just his immediate family that we were meeting, but his mother and father, his sister and her husband, and little dog Gioi, as well. We greeted each other and shook hands, Ferruccio introduced us to his family, with Lisa translating back and forth. We asked a few questions of each other and then stood silent for a few minutes, just looking at each other, politely smiling, not sure what to do next. In comes Gioi, an adorable, fluffy, little Maltese pup. He walks into the circle of silent people and breaks the ice. We all greet him and laugh. Ferruccio speaks up and asks Lisa something. Lisa looks to me and says, “Ferruccio asks if you would like to stay for dinner.” In America upon meeting people, unscheduled at their home, and out of politeness, they might ask you to stay for a meal, or offer you a drink, but really it’s a way to say “we’re about to eat” or “we’re in the middle of something and you’ve caught us unexpectedly and we don’t want to be rude, but…” Nine times out of ten you’d politely say thank you, decline the offer and be on your way. So my response to Ferruccio, seeing that he and his family were not expecting dinner guests, I politely begin “Thank you so much, but no we couldn’t possibly…” when Ferruccio, in a booming voice, looked at me and questioned “NO?!”, stopping me in my tracks. Lisa looked at me with pleading eyes, Greg looked at me confused and slightly intimidated (What were we supposed to be doing?!) and I, completely out of my element, all eyes upon me, scrambling to think, eked out “Yes?”
[Deborah and husband Greg (to the left) with Ferruccio Caponera and his family.]
The crowd gave a big cheer! The women ran off to the kitchen, the men ran off to get wine and olives and prepare the lamb. Greg and I stayed standing there with a very happy Ferruccio, Lisa, and Gioi. The meal they prepared was delicious. Everything was locally sourced and homemade, and the company was even better. Their warmth and welcoming nature, the connection we all made was beyond compare.
Did you discover any amazing story during the process of searching for your Italian relatives?
I did! A few, in fact. There were two stories of how Vincenzo and his brother Luigi, upon coming to the U.S., ended up with different surnames. 1: That the brothers came on a ship to Ellis Island and when disembarking Vincenzo gave his name, Caponera, and Luigi was stopped and included in the next family who was called Potenziani. 2: That Vincenzo came over to the United States first and Luigi came later as a stow-away on a ship and took someone else’s name, Potenziani. Both were incorrect.
What really happened, and part of the larger amazing story, is that Vincenzo's, Teresa's (the unknown sister), and Luigi’s parents, Gerardo Caponera and Filomena Potenziani, were never legally married. They had what was called in the records, a natural marriage. Vincenzo was born in 1893 and registered at the Comune by his father as Caponera Vincenzo; in later searches for his sister, Teresa, born in 1898, we found that she, too, was registered by her father as Caponera Teresa. Luigi was born in 1901, but registered by their mother, Filomena, as Potenziani Luigi. Because there wasn’t much work in Fumone and surrounding areas at the time, the general consensus is that Gerardo had left Fumone to find work, and Filomena gave birth to their third child while Gerardo was away and had to register her new son with the Comune herself. There are accounts of Gerardo and Filomena, reunited, living with Teresa and Luigi in Fumone, after Vincenzo had come to America in the early 1910s, on Via Milano.
So it turns out that truth is far more interesting and dramatic than fiction.
[Birth certificate of Luigi Potenziani.]
Ultimately, what has the experience of reconnecting to your Italian roots meant to you?
It’s been life changing. This journey has shown me how important it is to record family history, to collect stories of my own family’s experiences so that I can hand them down to the next generation. There’s something about knowing where you come from. It makes you feel more whole in the world. It shows you that you’re part of something bigger, and it makes you appreciate who you are, what you have, and what you’re capable of. All in all it’s been an inspiring experience. And the journey continues.
Thank you, Deb, for sharing your heartwarming story!
All photos courtesy of Deborah Caponera.
